Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 21 | Book 3)

The 22nd excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"

Oct 18, 2024

Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).

Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.

Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.

Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 21 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.

Context: The bully Gord finds himself with no choice but to take charge of the healing of the Niddukk.

CHAPTER 21 — THE CLAW, REBORN
The healing had begun.
After several days of eating stringy meat, choking down grog, and moving tentatively about his chamber, the Niddukk was regaining some strength. They had replaced the bandages on his neck several times, and now he no longer needed them. He was grumpy and dangerous but also uncharacteristically grateful. Gord, Grizzle, and Ying—and of course the Kajjala—were his favorite servants. Though it remained difficult for the monster to speak because of lingering soreness in his throat, he praised the three of them and promised them power and riches. Gord hoped the Niddukk followed through with his promises, but for now he was happy just to be fed, clothed, and given shelter. Not being deformed or dead was also a plus.
Now that the Niddukk was up and about, the vampires also came back and blatantly kissed up to their master. This annoyed Gord. Why should they get credit for saving him? Then again, when Gord had first rescued the Niddukk over Lake Shima-Shi, the vampires had led him to the volcano, so Gord grudgingly accepted they were part of the “Make The Niddukk Great Again” team.
The question on everyone’s mind, including Gord’s, was how complete the Niddukk’s recovery would be. Would he regain only a small portion of his former powers? A large portion? All of them? Gord hoped for the latter, only because if the Niddukk returned to his former greatness and Gord stayed in his good graces, then power and riches were more likely than not. Was there anyone in the world who deserved it more than him?
In the meantime, Gord finagled his way into a few luxuries. He had his own chamber with a feather-stuffed mattress, a fireplace, two torches, and Ying as his personal servant. Even the menu had grown a bit. He was now given an occasional loaf of bread and some raw vegetables. There was also real wine, as opposed to grog, that the ghouls had stolen during raids on villages in the foothills of the mountains. Though he was only 13 years old, Gord felt more like 30, so the negatives of indulging in spirits were the least of his worries. There were no sensible adults around to chastise him, that’s for sure.
Gord was resting on his bed when Ying rushed into his chamber waving her stubby arms.
“The Niddukk wants to see you now! As in, right now.”
Gord couldn’t imagine what he might have done wrong. He leaped from his bed and followed Ying down the hallway that led to the Niddukk’s chamber. He didn’t know what was about to happen, but he hoped that if it was something bad, it would end quickly with as little pain as possible.
End of excerpt.

Themes: Entrapment; lesser of two evils; nowhere to run.

Between the lines: You have two choices:

1) join the evil side and survive;

2) denounce the evil side and die … painfully.

Depending on your religious leanings, neither option is particularly appealing.

Is there a third option? Pretend to join the evil side in the hope that you can redeem yourself in the end? This might work, but it’s risky because the evil side has other plans for you that could make redemption a whole lot more difficult to achieve.

It’s quite a conundrum. But at least if this is occurring in a novel, you’ll find out what happens in the end.

Writing tips: In The Lord of the Rings, Sauron never takes center stage and is rarely featured in any way. Tolkien knew what he was doing. It was better to fear Sauron’s evil through the eyes of others. If Tolkien had humanized Sauron, it most likely would have diluted his horrific mystique.

But when taking this approach, writers walk a fine line. The evil antagonist can become virtually invisible and therefore less frightening than the author intended. Even in a masterpiece the caliber of LOTR, I found Saruman, Shelob, and the Orcs to be scarier than Sauron. The sorcerer’s tools were out in the open for all to see, while the tool-wielder hid behind an opaque black curtain.

In my series, I chose to compromise. My version of Sauron—the Niddukk—is a bad ass to be sure. But he is also a blowhard and a buffoon. Does this dilute his “horrific mystique”? In some ways, yes. But since much of my Dark Circles trilogy is allegorical, the Niddukk’s character flaws played right into my hands. Hopefully, my readers will pick up on this.

Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)

Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)

Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)

Note that I added a blurb from the Kirkus Review to the cover of *Do You Believe in Magic?*.

Promotional notes

Do You Believe in Magic?, book 1 of my teen fantasy adventure series Dark Circles, has received a Recommended Review from Kirkus Reviews, an industry-trusted source for honest and accessible reviews since 1933. Only the top 25% of Indie books receive recommended reviews. Read the full review here.

Dark Circles is appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. This heartfelt coming of age saga has won eleven international awards.

DARK CIRCLES (13 and older)
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic?
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters?
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles?

All told, almost 27,000 copies of books 1-3 of Dark Circles have been purchased, with an additional 109,000+ pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP).

Jim Melvin's Realms of Fantasy

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