Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 19 | Book 3)

The 20th excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"

Oct 04, 2024

Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).

Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.

Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.

Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 19 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.

Context: The exhausted company continues its trek up the side of a massive mountain.

CHAPTER 19 — THE CLOUD GIANTS
Amanussa felt miserable the next morning.
William’s story had an unexpectedly strong effect on her, reminding her it was the lot of an Elder to spend most of his or her existence suffering. All life was filled with suffering. And the longer a person lived, the more it piled up.
Sometimes it was nearly impossible to tell the difference between good and evil. Amanussa was living proof. During the first part of her life as Chariya, she had been what most would have described as good. After the Niddukk imposed his will upon her, she had spent many centuries as an evil being. Now that she was free of him, she had returned to her former self, only that wasn’t entirely true. She was no longer a demon or vampire or whatever name they chose to call her. But she was also no longer Chariya. Though her days of committing atrocities were over, there was no running away from the reality that she had committed them in the past—many times in many places over many years. And she remembered each one.
This was depressing enough, but there was more. The farther eastward they marched, the more she felt the weight of doom upon them. Even if the Niddukk was still relatively weak, the network of tunnels, pitfalls, traps, and dead ends he had constructed—via physical excavation and magical conjuration—was vast and sophisticated. If they were to navigate this minefield, it would take magic and ability beyond what she possessed.
She doubted anyone could do it. But at least she would do her job to the best of her abilities, which was to get them there. What happened after that remained to be seen.
Then there was the matter of James. She had once loved him, but her feelings had long since changed. She did not believe she could ever be his wife again, not because of any fault James possessed but because she could never love anyone that way again. The Yellow One, she assumed, was tired. William was tired. James was tired. She might have been the most exhausted of all.
“You are moving kind of slow this morning,” James said to her. “If you are not careful, Lord Gar will chastise you.”
“I woke up with a lot on my mind.”
“If it makes you feel any better, William’s story had a similar effect on me. But today is another day.”
“There is another thing bothering me. Other than the terrible thing that happened to Nobuo in Evi-Vana, we have had it kind of easy to this point. But it is going to get worse from here. I hope our friends know what they are getting themselves into.”
End of excerpt.

Themes: Redemption; mental exhaustion; enemies become friends.

Between the lines: Some might argue that good and evil are black and white concepts with little wiggle room. Others might say that what is good and what is evil is all in your point of view.

Either way, is it realistically possible for so-called “evil” characters to change their behavior and achieve redemption? Of course. But in novels, at least, it shouldn’t happen too quickly. The buildup to redemption should be slow, steady, and contain a healthy dose of foreshadowing.

If done skillfully, this can become one of your story’s most captivating plot lines.

Writing tips: Hurricane Helene struck the Eastatoee Valley where I live like a freight train on steroids. Thousands—maybe tens of thousands—of majestic trees were toppled.

I have two ways to reach civilization from my house. One way was blocked by the collapse of a bridge. The other was blocked by several dozen trees more than six feet in diameter and 100 feet in length. My younger, burlier neighbors took it upon themselves to clear the way for all of us. Being 67, I helped some. But I didn’t do anything near what they did. Religious views were cast aside. Political views too. Neighbors fought hard for each other.

Why is this a writing tip? Well, I didn’t get a single thing done on my current work in progress, which just goes to say there are things that are more important than writing—and that’s okay.

Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)

Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)

Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)

Promotional notes

For those who missed my Thursday post: Do You Believe in Magic?, book 1 of my teen fantasy adventure series Dark Circles, has received an excellent review from Kirkus Reviews, an industry-trusted source for honest and accessible reviews since 1933.

Three friends and a magical dog become heroes in a strange land in Melvin’s YA fantasy series opener. After 13-year-old Charlie Magus’ father walks out on him and his mom, they move from St. Petersburg, Florida, to Lowery, South Carolina, to live with his grandparents. Charlie’s grandfather gives him a white dog named Blue who soon becomes his devoted guardian.
At school, the teen is often a target for bullies, but he finds kindred spirits in bullied classmates Zola Scyler and Virgil. He brings his new friends to see a magical waterfall that he discovered in the woods; after crawling through a tunnel behind it, they’re transported to a magical place where Blue is the size of a horse, their classmate Garrick is a revered leader, and they face dangers that they never could have imagined. They’re in the land of Pacchann, which is currently embroiled in a brutal war against a being called the Niddukk and his minions.
Charlie and his friends discover that they possess magical abilities that could make them saviors of Pacchann—or the targets of its enemies.
Overall, Melvin delivers a novel that’s appealing and well-crafted. Charlie is a likable, relatable protagonist, and he quickly establishes an entertaining dynamic with Virgil and Zola. Blue is more than just an animal sidekick, as he seems to have a protective and wise character all his own.
The prose is accessible throughout while providing some dazzling descriptions: “Deep among the trees stood a black spire that towered hundreds of feet above the canopy. It was jagged at the top like a spiked crown—only the crown was on fire, and a ring of swirling smoke engulfed its pinnacle.”
The magical world is entrancing, although it takes a while for the conflict that’s causing the war to become clear. The Niddukk is also a rather nebulous, indistinct antagonist, but the thrilling battle scenes make up for these minor issues.
A delightful beginning to a promising series that’s sure to appeal to teen readers who feel like outsiders.
— Kirkus Reviews, October 2024

Dark Circles is appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. This heartfelt coming of age saga has won eleven international awards.

DARK CIRCLES (13 and older)
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic?
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters?
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles?

All told, almost 27,000 copies of books 1-3 of Dark Circles have been purchased, with an additional 108,000+ pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP).

Jim Melvin's Realms of Fantasy

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