Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 15)
Another excerpt from my teen fantasy adventure 'Do You Believe in Magic?'
Every Friday, I’ll send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of my latest novel Do You Believe in Magic?. Then I’ll break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I’ll include writing tips.
Last week, I published a segment from Chapter 14. Today, I’ll continue with Chapter 15.
Do You Believe in Magic? is book 1 of a teen fantasy adventure series titled Dark Circles. Though it is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 are enjoying it too. But I believe adults will like this exciting adventure as much as teens.
Here is a brief synopsis: A grieving boy moves to his grandparents' farm in Upstate South Carolina where he rediscovers his passion for life in a magical world hidden deep in the forest.
Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 15. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.
Context: In Chapter 14, Charlie, Zola, and Virgil are finally reunited but must flee to Pacchann’s last bastion of safety, an island city called Shima-Shi. In Chapter 15, Charlie and his friends enter Shima-Shi and receive a hero’s welcome.
CHAPTER 15 — THE ANCIENT PROPHECIES
Blue barked once.
Then he licked Charlie on the face and trotted off like he knew exactly where he was going. Charlie wiped spittle off his face with one hand while waving goodbye with the other.
He and his friends trudged deep into the labyrinth of stone spires. Ordinary wooden buildings were scattered in open spaces between the spires, some about the size of a one-story house, others broad and tall. But an enormous wooden temple dwarfed all the other manmade structures.
Garrick, Azura, and the warriors bid them farewell, and they were then escorted into a building near the temple that served as a bathhouse. Charlie was taken to his own private room, which contained a copper tub filled with steaming water. A pleasant man brought Charlie soap and towels and took his Lowery clothing from him, apparently to be laundered again.
In all his life, Charlie couldn’t remember enjoying a bath this much. The tub was circular and only about four feet in diameter, so he couldn’t fully stretch out. But he was comfortable, regardless, and he scrubbed every inch of his body with the gray soap. He lounged in the water a while longer before drying himself with coarse towels and working the knots out of his hair with a thick-toothed wooden comb. The man even gave him a contraption that resembled a toothbrush, which he used with only water to brush his teeth and tongue for five minutes nonstop. It was glorious.
Charlie was given white slacks and a white jacket made of a fabric that felt silky on his clean skin. Even his slippers were white. When he emerged from the room, Masao greeted him. He wore all black, as was typical of warriors.
Masao bowed. “Lord Charlie, an audience awaits you in the sacred temple’s assembly hall. Among the gathering are monks, warriors, and prominent officials. Pacchann has many people with titles, all of whom consider themselves more important than the other.” He rolled his eyes. “What is about to occur might not be the most pleasant experience of your life. Some will probably behave poorly. But most will respect you.”
Charlie was wary. “Will Zola and Virgil be there? And how about Blue?”
Masao laughed heartily. “Lord Charlie, you are such a jester. Of course they will be there. All three of you will hold high places of honor beside Lord Gar, the greatest of the warriors, and Azura, the greatest of the monks. As for Blue, he would find the proceedings quite boring, I’m afraid. But we will reunite you soon enough.”
“Garrick and Azura might be great. But I’m not. I mean, look at me. I’m just a skinny kid.”
“Once again you jest,” Masao said, only now he wasn’t chuckling. “I have witnessed your magic with my own eyes and felt the power of it against my own skin.”
They left the bathhouse, walked down a narrow alleyway, and entered a larger building crowded with men and women clad in green robes. Rich aromas filled the air.
“They are the Vijja … the chefs. They will serve us tonight. The quality and quantity of the fare will not disappoint Lord Virgil.”
The Vijja bowed.
“They’re bowing because of me?” Charlie said.
Masao nodded. “They call you Setavanna-Kesakalyana.”
“I’ve heard Azura say that before, but what in the world does it mean?”
End of excerpt.
Themes: Calm amid the storm; political intrigue; hero worship.
Between the lines: When a person of ordinary standing is suddenly showered with adoration, it can create mixed feelings. The person often thinks: I’m not worthy; I’m a fraud; it’s a mistake. But what if the person is deserving? How does he or she come to grips with adoration when it approaches the level of worship? And is there a part of us that craves worship? If so, what does that say about us? If not, same question.
Writing tips: Using artificial intelligence to write novels is catching on like wildfire. Whether it’s a fire that can be subdued or one that rages out of control remains to be seen.
I’m not above using software that finds typos or grammatical errors, though I find that this type of software only improves my work by a couple of percentage points at best. But using AI to generate entire paragraphs and beyond? Sorry, that’s not for me. In fact, I find it offensive.
It is said that novels are written one word at a time, but they are really written one sentence at a time.
We write like this: “Joe walked to the store. He shot the cashier. He was supposed to spend the rest of his life in prison. But …”
We don’t write like this: “Joe … walked … to … the … store.” Well, you get the idea.
Given that the average novel has somewhere between 5,000 and 10,000 sentences, it is stating the obvious that writing a book is lot of work and takes a lot of time. Having AI generate most of that for me would feel like cheating at solitaire.
In the end, it will be readers, not writers, who determine how all this turns out. If readers enjoy AI-produced novels more than traditionally written ones, then it’s sayonara to novelists with human brains.
Admittedly, I’m far from an expert on this subject. Maybe this entire take is way off. But it’s the way I feel about it given my current limited knowledge.
Who knows what the future holds?
COVER REVEAL!
Book 2 of my teen adventure fantasy series Dark Circles will debut on Oct. 30 but will be available via discounted preorder for subscribers of Jim Melvin’s Realms of Fantasy on Oct. 23-29. Above is the cover reveal for Do You Believe in Monsters?. I’d love to hear what you think of it!
DARK CIRCLES (teen fantasy adventure series)
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (preorder Oct. 23; live Oct. 30)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (coming February 2024)
Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14
Agreed. Generating images and such is a different issue altogether, IMO.
No AI for me- at least where writing is concerned. I might try to generate images for my stories, presuming I can't hire a human illustrator first.