Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 11)

Another excerpt from my teen fantasy adventure 'Do You Believe in Magic?'

Every Friday, I’ll send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of my latest novel Do You Believe in Magic?. Then I’ll break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I’ll include writing tips.

Last week, I published a segment from Chapter 10. Today, I’ll continue with Chapter 11.

Do You Believe in Magic? is book 1 of a teen fantasy series titled Dark Circles. Though it is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 are enjoying it too. But I believe adults will like this exciting adventure as much as teens.

Here is a brief synopsis: A grieving boy moves to his grandparents' farm in Upstate South Carolina where he rediscovers his passion for life in a magical world hidden deep in the forest.

Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 11. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.

Context: In Chapter 10, Charlie continued to believe he was dreaming as he journeyed with a band of warriors toward a village that will provide safety. In today’s Chapter 11, Charlie leaves the village and encounters deadly monsters.

CHAPTER 11 — RUN, DON’T WALK

Charlie woke to a bustle of activity far below him.

All the other beds in his room were empty. He sat up with a jolt, confused and annoyed. Where was Masao? After his head cleared a bit, he snorted.

“It’s a dream, Charlie,” he whispered. “No matter what Garrick says. And in dreams, pretend people don’t follow the same rules as real people.”

Charlie walked downstairs. The room he had bathed in the night before had a basin where he could pee, and he did so with gusto. There was no running water and nothing to flush, so he dumped the contents of the basin down a hole in the floor, hoping it was the right thing to do. Again, why did it matter? Yet somehow it did. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of his dream characters.

Charlie stepped outside. Garrick was nowhere to be seen, but the boy who waited on him the night before hustled over and handed him a wooden spoon and a crude bowl containing what appeared to be scrambled eggs. It tasted delicious and was still hot.

Blue the Giant Dog greeted Charlie, his tail wagging at almost normal speed. “Aren’t I popular?” Charlie said.

Blue barked once, then started toward the river. Charlie followed him to the docks where a crowd had gathered, including Garrick, Masao, and the pretty warrior whose name Charlie still didn’t know or couldn’t remember. Unlike the night before, a hefty barge was roped to the dock. The craft had a simple wooden railing on two sides but no other items or equipment. Some of Garrick’s warriors were already aboard. They wore black backpacks that appeared to be made of silk. The slab of dragon meat—now foul and swarming with flies—had also been dragged aboard. This baffled Charlie. It clearly wasn’t edible anymore, so why bring it along? The vagaries of his subconscious mind never ceased to amaze him. What was his imagination cooking up now?

Masao greeted Charlie cheerfully, then handed him his own backpack. Charlie looked inside and found his Lowery clothing in there, as well as a skin of water and several square objects wrapped in green leaves. Food for their journey to Uxo-Ta? Charlie would find out eventually.

More than fifty men, women, and children—if he and Garrick were considered children—boarded the barge. Blue also joined the company. As far as Charlie could tell, none of the black-clad warriors remained at the village, not even the ones who were there originally. Who would protect the villagers if monsters attacked? Then he remembered they would vanish from existence once he left.

They released the ropes holding the flat wooden craft to the dock, and the vigorous current grasped the barge and swung it toward the middle of the river. A single rope cable, thick as a warrior’s thigh and perhaps 300 yards long, was tied to the starboard side of the barge, extending all the way across the river to the other side. The barge whipped toward the far bank, propelled by nothing more than the rushing waters. “How did I think this up?” Charlie thought. “I must have read about it somewhere.”

About halfway across the river, a pair of warriors picked up the slab of dragon meat and cast it into the water. Within seconds, a swarm of silvery fish ripped it to shreds. Then something large, much larger than a man, swept in and swallowed the biggest remaining chunk.

“Nothing goes to waste, Lord Charlie,” Masao said. “You will learn.”

The barge came to rest on a sandy stretch of beach only a stone’s throw from where the estuary succumbed to the sea. Several villagers greeted them. Their job, apparently, was to drag the barge upriver far enough so that it could return to the docks using the same form of propulsion. They all leaped ashore, and Charlie stood on the far bank debating what to do next. Then an idea came to him out of thin air. He decided to try an experiment. He would stand there and not move or say anything, no matter what anyone else did. If this was a dream, as he believed, then everything would come to a standstill, right? Surely the dream couldn’t go on without him in it.

Garrick shouted orders. The company proceeded northward on the beach. Blue trotted cheerfully along. Charlie stayed put, frozen in place.

The warriors moved quickly and were soon almost out of sight. But Blue noticed Charlie’s absence and let out not one but three barks. Red alert! He ran back to his master looking perplexed, if it was possible for a dog to look perplexed. Charlie could hear Garrick yelling, “Climb on his back!” But Charlie did no such thing. He simply stood like a statue, feeling proud he had discovered the means to wake himself up. He would will the dream to end.

End of excerpt ……… the monsters come a couple of pages later.

Themes: the perils of a dreamworld; going against the current; the dismantling of doubt.

Between the lines: If everyone around you is walking in one direction, do you go with the flow? Or do you go in the direction you believe is best, even if that means going against the flow? Sometimes, choosing the latter can be life-altering. But it takes a heavy dose of willpower.

Writing tips: If you write fantasy, where does your magic come from? In my series, Charlie wields his newfound powers with the instinctive ease of a natural athlete. But his magical abilities are driven by anger and fear, negative emotions that have plagued him for much of his life. The cathartic release exhausts him temporarily, but his fear and anger eventually return, ready for another go. Can expressing your emotions feel magical? That is one way of looking at it.

As an author, your goal is to elicit emotions through the magic of your words.

More about the series: The cover of book 2 is complete—and I love it! Above is a sneak peek. Book 3’s cover is up next, and I’ve already seen the first several sketches. They’re also very cool! I’m three-fourths of the way through the revision process of book 2. I’m currently doing the read-it-out-loud revision. And yes, my voice is a bit raspy.

DARK CIRCLES (teen fantasy series)
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (coming this October)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (coming February 2024)

Please watch my promotional video.

Promotional notes: Do You Believe in Magic? is currently on promotion. The ebook has been discounted to 99 cents. The paperback has been discounted to $8.99.

Past episodes

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10