Journey with me through a magical world (Prologue)
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I would like to welcome my newest subscribers—some of you from around the world!—to my free newsletter Realms of Fantasy. I’d also like to thank my current subscribers who have been reading my posts for the past several months.
Every Friday, I’m going to send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of my latest novel Do You Believe in Magic?. Then I’ll break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I’ll include a writing tip.
Today, I’ll start with the Prologue.
Do You Believe in Magic? is book 1 of a middle-grade portal/epic fantasy series titled Dark Circles. It is appropriate for ages 13 and older. But I believe adults will enjoy this fun adventure as much as teens.
Here is a brief synopsis: A grieving boy moves to his grandparents' farm in Upstate South Carolina where he rediscovers his passion for life in a magical world hidden deep in the forest.
Below are the opening paragraphs of book 1. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment. Please let me know in the comments if you find this valuable. Any feedback can be incorporated into future weekly posts.
PROLOGUE
Lord Gar was exhausted.
This latest battle was worse than any other, and he knew that those who fought at his side also had little strength left. Hoped-for reinforcements had failed to arrive, and the enemy massed for yet another frenetic assault.
His small company’s only hope was the fortress it held against an army of monsters. The stronghold’s sturdy bulwark, crowned with a chiseled parapet, formed a half-circle that was anchored against the base of an escarpment. The stone wall was virtually impregnable. One hundred warriors could hold against one thousand. But Gar’s force numbered less than thirty, and the army that gathered in the bony fields outside the fortress easily surpassed ten thousand. The monsters were sufficient in strength and number to clamber upon each other and scale the 50-foot bulwark like a swarm of ants.
A deep voice broke Gar’s reverie.
“My lord.”
Gar turned and faced a grizzled warrior. He had not heard the husky man approach, so intense was his concentration on the evil that loomed beyond.
“My lord,” the warrior repeated.
Despite their long acquaintance, Gar still didn’t feel comfortable being addressed as “lord,” especially by a grownup.
“What have you to say, Nobuo?” Gar asked.
Nobuo placed a gauntleted hand on his lord’s shoulder. “This is a fight we cannot win.”
Gar knew he was right. Without reinforcements, the next assault would be the last.
“You state the obvious. What else have you to say?”
“The monks have found us and have opened a portal.”
Gar’s eyes brightened. “This is excellent! How many of us will it contain?”
Nobuo hesitated before saying, “One.”
“What? Why?”
Nobuo motioned beyond the walls. “A great evil has joined the fray. A Kuutar has revealed its presence, and its dark magic appears to be countering the efforts of the monks.”
A wave of dizziness caused Gar to stagger. He was only a boy, after all. How could he stand against a Kuutar, a creature of legendary might that struck terror into the stoutest of warriors? This is how it will end, he thought. But the prophecies foretold otherwise.
“Save the most novice one among you,” Gar ordered. “Hurry … before the Kuutar reaches us and closes the portal.”
“My lord, we will not prevail here,” Nobuo said. “But this is one battle of many. We can afford to lose one battle, but we cannot afford to lose the war. Without you to lead us, all will crumble.”
Gar took a step back. “No.”
“Lord Gar.”
“I will not!”
Gar’s own people placed many hands upon him. They intended to send him—and only him—through the portal. ……………..
End of excerpt
I believe there’s enough tension here to make you want to find out what happens next to Lord Gar and his warriors.
Here is my author’s breakdown of the Prologue of Do You Believe in Magic?:
More about the series: The Dark Circles series is a blend of portal fantasy and epic fantasy. There is real-world stuff and fantasy-world stuff. The fantasy world has a medieval setting with wizards, dragons, monsters, magic, and quests, which is why it fits within the genre of epic fantasy. But the real-world characters pass through portals to reach the fantasy world, so, well, you get the picture. The series is called Dark Circles because when the real-world characters enter the fantasy world, they are unable to sleep. If they try, a dreaded monster enters their dreams and attempts to harm them. Therefore, when they return to the real world, they are sleep-deprived and are marked with dark circles beneath their eyes. Note: Do You Believe in Magic? debuted on May 25, 2023. I’m 70K into the first draft of book 2 title Do You Believe in Monsters?, which will debut in October of this year.
Context: The book opens with the scene above. It provides a taste of what the fantasy world is all about, and it introduces a pair of characters who will play significant roles throughout the series. Chapter 1, which I’ll share with you next Friday, opens with a scene from the real world.
Themes: good vs. evil, coming of age, heroism, sacrifice.
Conflict: A young warrior leads adults into battle. Self-doubt muddles his decisions. But his love and loyalty for his people prevail in the end.
Writing tip: As I mentioned above, I believe adults will enjoy this series, much like they enjoyed Harry Potter. But I’m also aiming to please a younger audience, so I chose to emphasize short, active sentences, while also toning down the complexity of the vocabulary. There’s a fine line between making it reader-friendly and dumbing it down. Here’s an example of how I did it: A wave of dizziness caused Gar to stagger. He was only a boy, after all. How could he stand against a Kuutar, a creature of legendary might that struck terror into the stoutest of warriors? This is how it will end, he thought. But the prophecies foretold otherwise.
Promotional note: The ebook version of Do You Believe in Magic? will be on sale for just 99 cents (regularly $2.99) starting today (June 30) through noon EDT on July 7. The trade paperback version will also be on sale for $8.99 (regularly $11.99).
Note to new subscribers: Please check out Jim Melvin’s Realms of Fantasy on Substack. My archives include a special serial called “Florida Boy,” which revisits my childhood growing up on the water when times were different and kids ran wild and free. Speaking of free, this newsletter is entirely free.
As finely wrought as anything I've read in this genre! Just bought the Kindle version.
Magic is the only way to be ❤️