Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 6)
Another excerpt from my middle grade fantasy adventure "Do You Believe in Magic?"
Every Friday, I’m going to send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of my latest novel Do You Believe in Magic?. Then I’ll break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I’ll include writing tips.
Last week, I published a segment from Chapter 5. Today, I’ll continue with Chapter 6.
Do You Believe in Magic? is book 1 of a middle-grade portal/epic fantasy series titled Dark Circles. Though it is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 are enjoying it too. But I believe adults will like this exciting adventure as much as teens.
Here is a brief synopsis: A grieving boy moves to his grandparents' farm in Upstate South Carolina where he rediscovers his passion for life in a magical world hidden deep in the forest.
Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 6. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.
CHAPTER 6 — THE WATERFALL AGAIN
Charlie played it cool.
When he got home, he hammed it up about what a wonderful time he’d had with his new buddies, conveniently leaving out his encounter with the bully. It pleased his mom and grandparents that he had made good friends so quickly, and when he asked for permission to meet Zola and Virgil again on Sunday morning to explore the creek, all three enthusiastically agreed it would be fine.
Mawmaw didn’t even bother him about going to church—and Poppy, in fact, was proud of him. “I want you to go right back where you took me and have a good look around. If a place scares you, then keep going back till it doesn’t. That way it won’t grow on your mind and become bigger than it needs to be. Understand what I’m saying, Charlie?”
“Yes, Poppy. That’s why I want to go.” Okay, that was sort of a lie, but a relatively harmless one.
“Just be sure to be back by dinnertime,” his mom said.
The next morning, Charlie slept later than he planned, not getting out of bed until 8:30. By the time he ate and left the house, it was almost 9:30. He and Blue raced down the path to the swimming hole. He was a little relieved to find it vacant. Zola and Virgil must have gotten sick of waiting and either gone on ahead or returned to their homes. Or perhaps they hadn’t shown up at all. Now Charlie wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t believe he had the guts to go on by himself. But if he went back home, Poppy might be disappointed.
Charlie heard a crashing sound in the trees. Blue stood on alert, but then his tail wagged, slow by normal standards but super-speedy by Blue standards. A large boy appeared out of nowhere. Charlie stiffened. Was it Gord come to finish him?
But no, it wasn’t Lowery’s most infamous bully. The unexpected interloper was Garrick.
Blue broke away from Charlie and zoomed toward the boy, covering the distance between them like he had been shot out of a cannon. Charlie was afraid Blue might attack Garrick like he had Gord. But his dog did no such thing. Instead, he ran in circles around Garrick, yipping with even more excitement than he did when chasing minnows in the creek. Adding to Charlie’s astonishment, Garrick knelt and gave Blue a tender hug as if he already knew the dog well.
Charlie walked over hesitantly. The muscular young teen was too focused on Blue to even notice his approach. When he saw Charlie, he stood quickly. The dark circles beneath Garrick’s eyes were even more pronounced than the last time Charlie saw him. Garrick looked like he had slept little in days.
“What are you doing here?” Garrick said in a tone that scared Charlie a little.
“I live here,” Charlie said. “Well, over there.” He pointed up the path toward his grandparents’ home.
“Oh, sorry. Well, I come by here sometimes. Way down this creek is where my older brother lives. I visit there a lot.” He looked up at the house. “I guess this means I’m trespassing, but it’s the quickest way to get there from my place. Do you think your dad will mind?”
“Not my dad. My granddad.”
“I thought he looked too old to be your dad.”
“You’ve seen him?”
“Yeah, he’s been down here a few times. He’s hard to miss, with that yellow T-shirt he always wears. I hid till he went away.” Then as if regretting those words, he added, “Look, I don’t want any trouble. It’s just this is the quickest way for me. I could go farther down the road, but it adds another hour.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind. And I won’t say anything to Poppy.”
“Poppy?” Garrick said, a small grin expanding into a smile.
The smile was contagious. Charlie discovered he liked Garrick. “My granddad. We call him Poppy.”
“I call my dad Pops.”
They both laughed. Garrick and laughter went together better than Charlie expected.
After a few more aftershock chuckles, Charlie said, “You know my dog, Blue?”
“That’s his name? I didn’t know, so I called him Whitey. And he’s your dog? But I thought you were new around here. I’ve been seeing Whitey—I mean, Blue—for the past few months.”
“He belongs to Poppy. But he’s my dog too.” And then much to Charlie’s delight, Blue left Garrick and sat beside him as if confirming Charlie’s claim. His love for the dog deepened even further. “I guess I’m surprised you already know Blue.”
Garrick winced a little, which seemed odd to Charlie. “Oh, yeah. I’ve seen him in a lot of places. He’s very special.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind. Listen, kid—”
“Charlie.”
“That’s right, Charlie. Well, is it okay if I keep going? My brother is waiting for me. We’re going to have lunch together. Pops isn’t big on keeping food in the house, so I need to snag a meal where I can.” He chuckled, trying to make it appear like he was joking, but it sounded kind of sad.
“Fine by me. And I’m sure Blue won’t mind.”
“Good. Well, see ya … Charlie.”
“See ya. And Garrick?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for what you did on Friday—for, you know.”
Garrick tapped his temple like he had at the school. “They’re all cowards at heart, Charlie. Even the meanest of them. Never forget that.”
Charlie mimicked Garrick by tapping his own temple. “Okay, I won’t.”
Garrick waved and then continued down the creek without looking back. Charlie half-expected Blue to go with Garrick and leave him behind, but the Lab remained obediently by his side. “Good dog,” Charlie said, patting his head. “Good dog.” Then he added, “I love you.” Blue yipped once and then rumbled to the swimming hole for another spirited bout of minnow-hunting.
End of excerpt …..
Context: Charlie and his two new friends plan an excursion to a magical waterfall that Charlie discovered in a previous chapter. While waiting to meet Zola and Virgil, Charlie runs into Garrick, a mysterious boy with dark circles beneath his eyes.
Themes: Forming bonds; confronting the unknown; questioning long-held beliefs.
Between the lines: One of the broader themes of Do You Believe in Magic? is tied directly to the title of the book. Can we trust what we see with our own eyes? Or do we fall back on what we’ve been conditioned to believe? Charlie sees the magical waterfall with his own eyes, but in retrospect questions his own sanity. Not until he sees the waterfall a second time—with friends at his side as additional witnesses—does he accepts its existence. We often do this in our real lives, do we not?
Writing tips: Plot is the single most powerful force in narrative writing, IMO. Readers are driven—almost instinctively—to find out what happens. But the second most powerful force is your characters. If your readers care about your characters, this enriches the plot. If they don’t care about your characters, the plot becomes stale.
More about the series: The book covers of my series are being illustrated by a company based in Ukraine. It amazes me that they are able to churn out such great work while their nation is embroiled in a bitter war. I hope they somehow stay safe.
Promotional note: Do You Believe in Magic? is currently on promotion. The ebook has been discounted to $1.99. The paperback has been discounted to $9.99.
Journey with me through a magical world (Prologue)
Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 1)
Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 2)
Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 3)
Awesome!
Thanks for the great comment! I've been limiting myself in that the meat (and most interesting parts) of each chapter I've published thus far comes well after the excerpt. But some of the fun, magical stuff is coming soon. Part of the reason I've done this is because I didn't want to serialize the novel for free (my site is perma-free as of now). Another reason is that most subscribers won't churn through a 30-page chapter. Do you agree?