Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 5 | Book 3)
The sixth excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"
Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).
Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.
Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.
Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 5 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.
Context: Charlie’s grandfather can’t rest just yet.
CHAPTER 5 — POPPY AND MAWMAW
Poppy still had business to attend to.
Mawmaw had picked him up in the hospital parking lot in the middle of the night. Poppy told her what had happened with the Niddukk and that Mary appeared to be healed.
“But there is one more thing I have to do tonight as soon as we get home.”
He sat in his favorite lounge chair in his living room in Lowery. Mawmaw knew not to bicker with him. When he was determined to do something, he did it without asking permission.
Poppy’s eyes were closed, but his eyelids fluttered and his fingers trembled. There were no lights on, but the glow from his body illuminated the room.
And then everything went dark. Mawmaw leaned over and turned on a table lamp. Poppy remained in his chair, but now his eyes were open.
“It is done,” he said wearily.
“Amanussa?”
“Yes.”
“Is it true?”
“True?”
“Were her powers really taken from her?”
“For now, yes. The quest will begin soon.”
“What are you going to do next?”
“I will return to Pacchann in the morning.”
“And the knife?”
“Can you provide a proper sheath? I need to bring it with me.”
“I can.” Then she added, “Do you want me to come with you?”
“I need you to stay here and watch over Mary. If the Niddukk somehow prevails, she will need you more than ever.”
End of excerpt.
Themes: Machinations; secrecy; sticking to the plan.
Between the lines: Superman had Clark Kent. Mr. Hyde had Dr. Jekyll. The Hulk had Dr. Banner. These are examples of powerful beings who could use their alter egos to go into hiding. Using this technique in your own writing can create a tantalizing blend of tension and intrigue, especially if you take your time unveiling the secret.
Writing tips: My wife and I have a special relationship. There are certain things about me that only she knows and vice versa. When we’re alone, we often interact differently than when we’re in the company of others. I’m sure most people can say the same about their significant others, certain family members, or close friends.
These “special relationships” also exist in fiction, but in this case there’s an interesting dichotomy. Unless hidden cameras have been placed in my house, no one can watch how my wife and I interact when we’re alone. But in novels, readers have a front-row seat to this deep and potentially fragile intimacy. This purposeful invasion of privacy can have a significant effect on how readers interpret the story.
In some ways, this technique is only another tool in a writer’s toolbox, but it’s a powerful one if wielded with savvy. As you plan your narrative, think carefully about the myriad ways you can use this to your advantage.
Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Epilogue
Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Epilogue
Promotional notes
Dark Circles is a teen fantasy adventure series appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. All three books of my series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook. This heartfelt coming of age series has won multiple international awards.
Do You Believe in Magic? has been included in Amazon’s Prime Reading program from June 1, 2024 through Aug. 31, 2024. If you are a Prime member, you can read the book for free.
Do You Believe in Monsters? recently received a 5-star review from Literary Titan, an organization of professional editors, writers, and professors passionate about the written word.
DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)
All told, more than 23,000 copies of books 1-3 have been downloaded, with an additional 79,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Like all self-published authors, I’m still hoping for more ratings and reviews.
The "between the lines" piece could explain a lot of what I write in fiction.