Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 3 | Book 3)

The fourth excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"

Jun 14, 2024

Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).

Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.

Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.

Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 3 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.

Context: In his new incarnation as a dragon-like creature, Gord rescues the Niddukk and carries him back to his stronghold.

CHAPTER 3 — GORD TO THE RESCUE
Gord wasn’t thinking clearly.
But a small part of the grotesque flying monstrosity he had become was still cognizant, and it cowered in a corner of his mind like a child in a dark closet.
Pain had always played an oversized role in his life. Whether it was his mom’s brutality, his rotting teeth, or the pangs of hunger, Gord had endured them all. Rather than break him, the pain had made him strong. At least, it had made him mean.
The Niddukk had raised the level of his agony to previously unthinkable heights. Being transformed into a vampire was bad enough. Having his body start to disintegrate was even worse. Being turned into a dragon-like creature was the worst of all. Bursts of fire speared his flesh. Stabs of agony flooded his sinews. Even his bones begged for mercy. If this was hell, it lived up to its name.
Gord was bound to the Niddukk, for better or worse. Not even Charlie could save him now. He believed whatever relief he might receive would come only from the Niddukk, so Gord rescued the monster hoping he would be rewarded. The part of Gord that huddled in the closet knew this was wrong, but the rest of him didn’t care. He had made his choice and there was no backing out now.
When the Niddukk dropped from the sky onto Gord’s back, new agony arose. The monster was in terrible pain himself, and it radiated like bleach poured onto bare skin. But what was a little misery between friends?
Gord took off toward the Northern Mountains. He expected Amanussa to chase him, but when he turned his boulder-sized head to look back, she was flying in the other direction toward Shima-Shi. For the life of him, he couldn’t understand why, but he wasn’t about to complain. Fighting her while not dropping the Niddukk would have been easier said than done. For a rare time in his life, he experienced what it felt like to have a stroke of good luck.
Gord skimmed the treeline like a fighter jet avoiding radar. In a short time, he could see the Northern Mountains. But he wasn’t sure where the Niddukk would want him to go, and his master appeared incapable of telling him. Gord supposed he could fly higher and see if he could locate the volcano himself. But even if he located Kar Pathu, would he be able to find the right cave? Or castle? Or fortress? Gord didn’t know.
End of excerpt.

Themes: Betrayal; self-interest; choosing sides.

Between the lines: All of us have read books where we quickly become pretty certain that a particular character is going to kick the bucket before the story ends. Sometimes it’s obvious, like the “security officers” in Star Trek who barely make it past the first five minutes of the show. But sometimes it’s not that obvious and yet we still know it—and we’re almost always right. Why is this? Are we psychic? Hmmm. Maybe it’s because the author is leaving subliminal clues between the lines.

Writing tips: Some fantasy authors fall into the trap of having their characters scrambling all over the place and doing all kinds of things that in the end don’t amount to much. In other words, nothing changes. When structuring a fantasy novel or series, make certain that your adventures advance the plot, enhance character development, and lead to resolutions. You don’t have to be in a huge hurry to accomplish these things, but remain aware that why your characters are doing something is even more important than what they’re doing.

Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)

Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)

Promotional notes

Dark Circles is a teen fantasy adventure series appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. All three books of my series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook. This heartfelt coming of age series has won multiple international awards.

Do You Believe in Magic? has been included in Amazon’s Prime Reading program from June 1, 2024 through Aug. 31, 2024. If you are a Prime member, you can read the book for free.

DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)

All told, more than 21,000 copies of books 1-3 have been downloaded, with an additional 73,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Like all self-published authors, I’m still hoping for more ratings and reviews.

Jim Melvin's Realms of Fantasy

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