Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 3 | Book 2)
The fourth excerpt from "Do You Believe in Monsters?"
Every Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Monsters?. Then I’ll break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I’ll include writing tips.
Earlier this month, I finished book 1 titled Do You Believe in Magic? with an excerpt from its Epilogue. I have now restarted the process with book 2. Last week, I featured Chapter 2.
DARK CIRCLES (teen fantasy adventure series)
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (coming February 2024)
Though both books are appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13—and many who are a lot older than 13—are enjoying my series.
Here is a brief synopsis from book 2: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.
Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 3 of book 2. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.
Context: After their harrowing adventure in a magical land, Zola and Charlie return to Lowery Middle School where they are forced to take on a real-life monster in the form of the school bully.
CHAPTER 3 | MEETING OF THE MINDS
Finally, Zola saw Charlie again.
On Tuesday morning, the white-haired boy walked into Mr. Burnett’s homeroom class a couple of minutes after she settled into her desk. Though it had been less than two days since they parted at the swimming hole late Sunday afternoon, it seemed like a month to her. Immediately, her face flushed. How could someone she had known for such a short time have such a huge effect on her?
Charlie sat at the desk next to her in the back of the room. The bell rang, signaling quiet time. They couldn’t talk yet, but they continued to stare. It was a good thing Virgil wasn’t there to tease them.
After Mr. Burnett made his announcements, he allowed the class to talk again.
“Heyyy,” Charlie said just loud enough for her to hear.
“Heyyy.”
“If I pass out, call 911.”
Zola giggled. “Only if you’ll do the same for me.”
“Is it ever going to stop being this way?”
“Yeah, in about fifty years when we’re a couple of old farts.”
This time Charlie giggled. “If we stayed in Pacchann, we’d be 50 before you know it.”
“Should you say that out loud?”
“I doubt anyone knows what we’re talking about.”
Zola wasn’t so sure. Ally, one of the cheerleader twins, was looking at them with a weird expression on her obnoxiously pretty face. At least Gord and Parker weren’t there.
Zola leaned over and whispered to him. “I think we should keep quiet about it when people are nearby. Maybe it will be private enough at lunch for the three of us—well, the four of us—to talk about you-know-what. Hopefully, Garrick will be there to handle any bully issues.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I guess we might not be the only ones who know about Pa— you-know-what. We’ll need to ask Garrick what he thinks.”
Are you guys a thing?
Zola and Charlie both said, “Huh?”
It was Ally, obviously looking to cause trouble again.
“Are you a thing? You know, boyfriend and girlfriend? How adorable!” She didn’t sound sincere.
Ally, that’s enough.
This time it was an adult male voice. Mr. Burnett wasn’t physically impressive, but he had a deep voice that commanded respect. Not even the Gords of the world messed with Mr. Burnett.
“Sorry,” Ally said meekly.
The bell rang to signal the start of first period. Everyone shuffled out, with Ally leading the pack.
End of excerpt.
Themes: First love; reality versus fantasy; real-life danger.
Between the lines: We’ve all heard variations of the phrase “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” But is this true? It is some of the time. But not all of the time. Depending on which direction the author chooses, this can lead to a character’s growth or deterioration. An author who writes with this in mind has a golden opportunity to establish depth that otherwise might be missing from the work.
Writing tips: Books featuring young teens placed in situations that would scare the heck out of most adults have been written countless times. Like many/most genres, it’s the caliber of the plot and characters that separate one book from another, not the originality of the central concept.
Readers who enjoy these books expect certain things to happen:
The teens tend to start out as rather hapless and confused.
As they continue to encounter scary and dangerous situations, they get better at handling them as the story progresses.
The teens eventually develop into heroes both physically and emotionally..
This growth becomes a positive force in their ordinary lives.
Think back to adventure stories that featured young teens. Do you have favorites? If so, was it because of the four points above? Or because you fell in love with the plot and characters?
Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Epilogue
Promotional notes
The ebook and paperback versions of books 1 and 2 can be purchased at this link.
As of Dec. 7, I have written almost 38,000 words of the first draft of book 3 titled Do You Believe in Miracles?.
All told, more than 7,500 copies of books 1 and 2 have been purchased, with more than 30,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Like all self-published authors, I’m still hoping for more ratings and reviews.
Thanks Daniel!!! Yes, sometimes everything in an adventure feels unique. Sometimes the story is cliche but the plot and characters are unique. Sometimes everything is cliche. The last one is the one we all want to avoid. 😀
Thanks Jim! ..... Each of my teenage heroes have issues in their real lives that can be resolved if they can only discover their inner magic. 😀