Journey with me through a magical world (Prologue | Book 2)
The first excerpt from "Do You Believe in Monsters?"
Every Friday, I’ve been sending you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Magic?. Then I’ve broken down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I’ve included writing tips.
Last week, I finished Do You Believe in Magic? with an excerpt from its Epilogue.
Starting today, I’ll continue the process with book 2 titled Do You Believe in Monsters?. Though both are appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13—and many who are a lot older than 13—are enjoying my teen fantasy adventure series.
Here is a brief synopsis from book 2: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.
Below are the opening paragraphs of the Prologue of book 2. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.
Context: Gord, the middle school bully, has an unexpected encounter.
PROLOGUE
Lightning and thunder haunted Gord’s dreams.
When his Monday morning alarm went off, he bolted upright in bed. His pillow and ragged blanket were soaked—not from sweat, but from rain.
The skies let loose frequently in Lowery, and each time they did the roof of the single-wide trailer Gord called home leaked like a sieve. He had done his best to patch it up with plywood and scraps of tar paper. But he was no roofer, and his mom couldn’t afford to buy proper supplies even if he had the know-how to use them.
Not every inch of the trailer got drenched. The ceiling above the lone bathroom only had a few leaks, and most of those dripped conveniently into the sink, toilet, and bathtub. Gord turned on the faucet in the sink and groaned when rust-colored water spilled out. The trailer needed a new well and pipes, but of course his mom didn’t have the money. Gord relied heavily on the fountains at Lowery Middle School for clean drinking water. Most of the students complained about the taste, but to Gord it was wonderful. He wanted to punch every one of the spoiled brats for complaining about it. They had no idea how bad things could get.
Though Gord rarely brushed his teeth, it wasn’t because he was lazy. He hated how his teeth looked, but his mom could barely afford a loaf of white bread, much less ultra-expensive trips to the dentist. Twice in the past year, he had wriggled a rotten tooth out of his mouth while hanging above this sink, screaming as he did it.
Gord was a mean boy, but he wasn’t as dull as most believed. He knew his breath stank something fierce. Even butt-kissers like Sally and Ally crinkled their faces when he spoke to them up close. But it is what it is, his mom liked to say during the times she was sober enough to speak at all. And Gord agreed with her. It is what it is. But he didn’t have to like it.
Gord hated everyone who had it better than him. And since his hefty mom had somehow given birth to a sturdy boy, Gord could use his size advantage over most other kids to enact his revenge on the more financially fortunate. He enjoyed stealing food from the sissies, partly because he got a kick out of it but also because he was perpetually hungry. He often tucked the food into his backpack and ate it for dinner in the evening. No one seemed to notice or care. He was on his own.
This Monday morning, Gord’s mouth tasted fouler than usual, so he did his best to brush his teeth. His toothbrush was as gross as everything else in his godforsaken home, but he rinsed the frayed bristles with lukewarm water that had run for a while and become a little clearer, and he squeezed a shred of toothpaste from the year-old tube lying on the back of the sink. When he tried to brush, it hurt so bad tears sprang from his eyes. This got him thinking about stealing again. Maybe he could scare Needle Boy into bringing him money. Virgil’s parents were the richest people in Lowery. If little Virgie gave him money, maybe Gord could afford to go to the dentist. Heck, if Virgil did that for him, he might even quit picking on him.
End of excerpt.
Themes: Bullying. Perils of poverty. Psychological damage.
Between the lines: Are some people inherently evil? Are their brains miswired at birth? Or do environmental factors play the dominant role in molding a person’s behavior? Also, once a person has chosen a path, is redemption still possible? These are fascinating topics to explore between the lines.
Writing tips: Writing novels has parallels to physical exercise. When you get fully into the groove of an exercise routine, you become stronger and healthier, and your overall mood and confidence are enhanced.
If you somehow fall out of the routine—whether because of an injury or maybe the holidays get in the way—it can be difficult to return to your previous level.
As a writer, I blew through books 1 and 2 (at least by my standards) in eight months (February-September). The first draft of each book took two months and the revision process of each book took an additional two months. Then in October, I ran a big promotion for both books that consumed a lot of time, so I decided to take a writing break. Was this a mistake? In terms of avoiding burnout, probably not. But man, it has taken some serious willpower to get cranking on book 3. Writing can be incredibly rewarding, but it requires serious discipline and can take a toll on the mind.
The good news is I’ve finally started the first draft of book 3, which will be titled Do You Believe in Miracles?. Thus far, I’ve written about 12,500 words. I’m aiming for a late February 2024 debut for this latest book, so I’ve got to shake off my October laziness and relight my fire. I need to churn out a couple of thousand words every day, with as few days off as possible.
But before I write today, I’ll take a hike in the mountains to make sure I don’t lose track of the physical part.
DARK CIRCLES (teen fantasy adventure series)
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (coming February 2024)
Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Epilogue
Promotional notes
I am a featured author at this link. See image above.
You can enter a free promotion at this link.
You can purchase books 1 and 2 at this link.
All told, more than 7,000 copies of books 1 and 2 have been purchased, with more than 22,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Like all self-published authors, I’m still hoping for more ratings and reviews.
Hi Daniel! Thank you yet again for your kind words. There are people out there who churn out six books a year or more, though I have no idea how they do it. I'm definitely helped by being recently retired, but my wife is still working so I've still got plenty to do around the house. I'm a daily calendar kind of guy, and I keep very close track of how many words I write each day, to the point of being a bit obsessive about it. 😀
Oh man, I’ve not started reading this yet, Jim, but this excerpt was so good, I think I’m going to start straight away! 😁
Your speed of writing on those first two books is astonishing and I take my hat off to you as doing the work is something I have always struggled with. It’s also probably why I never finished writing all the books I started over the last 30 years
I’m taking a two week break from writing to catch up on my day to day work so we’ll see how we do when I get back to Substack
Thanks as always for the excerpts and advice, Jim 👍🏼