Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 17)

Another excerpt from my teen fantasy adventure 'Do You Believe in Magic?'

Every Friday, I’ll send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of my latest novel Do You Believe in Magic?. Then I’ll break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I’ll include writing tips.

Last week, I published a segment from Chapter 16. Today, I’ll continue with Chapter 17.

Note to readers: This is the final chapter of Do You Believe in Magic? Next week will feature the Epilogue. After that, I plan on taking a one-week break before continuing this process with book 2 titled Do You Believe in Monsters?.

Do You Believe in Magic? is book 1 of a teen fantasy adventure series titled Dark Circles. Though it is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 are enjoying it too. But I believe adults will like this exciting adventure as much as teens.

Here is a brief synopsis: A grieving boy moves to his grandparents' farm in Upstate South Carolina where he rediscovers his passion for life in a magical world hidden deep in the forest.

Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 17. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.

Context: In Chapter 16, Charlie learns about a girl who has been put into a magical trance by an evil being. In Chapter 17, Zola witnesses the results of Charlie’s heroics.

CHAPTER 17 — Return to Lowery

They were separated again.

After Zola heard Garrick call to Charlie from the bottom of the stairs, she watched them rush away. Zola thought she knew where they were going and wanted to go with them, but she hadn’t been invited and decided not to force it. So she turned away and continued to follow Lingika up the winding stairs.

While Garrick and Charlie were jogging toward the cottage where Kate slept, Zola, Virgil, and Lingika stopped on the fifth floor of the tall stone spire. A small group sat cross-legged around a circular stone table. Riko, Nobuo, and Masao were there, as was the tall blue man, his tiny red bride, and the birdman. Someone had placed a tray of white cakes and a steaming pot of tea on the table. Virgil devoured the cakes. Of course.

“Help yourself,” Nobuo said, chuckling. Then he added, “The tea is very strong. It should keep you awake.”

Zola poured some for Lingika, Virgil, and herself.

Then the birdman spoke. His voice was raspy and difficult to understand. Was it because he didn’t seem to have much in the way of lips?

“My lady,” he said, addressing Zola directly. “Until now, I have failed to introduce myself, and for this I apologize. My name is Ud.” He pronounced it OOD. “My people live in the mountains far south of here. Only a few remain. We were never many, even in the best of times, but the Niddukk has further reduced our numbers.” Ud paused and sighed, though it sounded more like a hiss. “I was in Uxo-Ta to aid the Yodhin when the worms attacked. I am truly sorry for the tragedy that befell that noble city.”

“Thank you for defending me against the monster,” Zola said.

Ud spread his wings and bowed. “I did little to deter the Kajjala. It was your friend, Lord Virgil, who saved us.”

Virgil was too busy eating to respond.

“How is it you can speak my language?” Zola said. “Has Lord Gar taught everyone English?”

Ud made a sound that resembled a hoarse chuckle. “My people are called the Hingu. We are not without the ability to fight, but we are better known as a peaceful race that relies on scholastic prowess.” His round mouth formed a crude smile. “We also take pleasure in learning languages. We have long studied the ancient tongue that few now can read or speak. When your Lord Gar brought a new language to Pacchann, we embraced it enthusiastically. It was a challenge. By the way, I love the word ‘challenge.’ It is one of your best words. In the language of the Hingu, it translates to ‘para-solyndra.’ Your word is better.” He made the weird chuckling sound again.

“There’s no way I could learn your language,” Zola said. “I’m very impressed you’ve learned mine.”

“English is best,” Virgil said, his mouth bulging with cake.

“Shut up, doofus. What do you know?”

This puzzled Ud. “Doofus. This word I do not know, though I have heard you say it. What does it mean?”

“It means Zola is a pain in the butt,” Virgil said.

“Shut up.”

“You shut up.”

“You’re a doofus.”

“And you’re a pain in the butt.”

“And you’re a pig.”

“And you’re a weirdo.”

“Good one, doofus.”

Ud watched their exchange with interest. When she and Virgil quit griping at each other, Ud refocused his attention on Zola. “Mistress Zola, you could easily learn our language. For you are a scholar too.”

This made Virgil laugh so hard he spit pieces of cake onto the table. “Ha! Good one, Mr. Ud.”

But Ud persevered. “It is true, Lord Virgil. Among the skills of the Hingu is the ability to see into another’s mind. We do so gently and without ill intention, but our techniques are effective.”

Lingika nodded. “He speaks the truth, Mistress Zola.”

This unnerved Zola. “Are you saying you’ve read my mind?”

“Read it? That is an interesting choice of your words,” Ud said. “No, I don’t think so. It is better to say I have assessed it—and your mind impresses me. Lord Charlie has great magic. Lord Virgil has great strength. But you, Mistress Zola, have great wisdom. And so, my lady, I am at your service.”

End of excerpt.

Themes: Imposter syndrome; admiration; worship.

Between the lines: Do you take compliments well? What if someone were to tell you that you’re the savior of the world? What would it take for you to believe it? Stay tuned.

Writing tips: Unless you’re a successful writer with tens of thousands of sales and a legion of adoring followers, it is likely that lurking somewhere within the intricate tangles of your brain is a monster called Imposter Syndrome.

For me, this tends to strike late in the novel-writing process when the book is nearly finished and I’m just “looking it over” one last time, only to discover that it is a complete mess and should be thrown in the trash with the rest of the garbage. Heck it’s not even worth recycling.

The good news, I guess, is that Imposter Syndrome tends to come and go. There’s also a far more uplifting syndrome called I’m a Freaking Genius, where you’ll read a chapter of your work and think it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.

In my opinion, I’m not a genius but I’m not an imposter either. I tend to find that when I re-read something that I wrote, say, five years earlier, it looks pretty damn good to me. So, that’s a relief.

Does Imposter Syndrome strike most writers late in the process, when they are sick and tired of the whole thing but still feel there’s some tedious work left to be done before they can officially label the project finished? As a writer, are you ever truly finished? Do you just have to let it go and settle for something that falls well short of perfection?

When Imposter Syndrome strikes me the hardest, I try my best to step back and take a long look at what else is going on in my life. I’m not only a writer. I’m also a husband, father, and grandfather. I’ve had a successful career in journalism and communications. I live in a nice home in the mountains. I love my wife. She and I treasure our long hikes on remote trails. I don’t feel like an imposter when it comes to these things.

The bottom line is, the reader is the ultimate judge. And there’s no reader in the world who enjoys the works of every writer.

I try to be patient with myself and enjoy the I’m a Freaking Genius moments more than I loathe the Imposter Syndrome ones.

I do my best and let the chips fall where they may.

BOOK 2 IS AVAILABLE ON PREORDER!

I’d like to offer you a deal so good it’s scary!

Just in time for Halloween, the ebook version of Do You Believe in Monsters? is now available for preorder at the discounted price of only 99 cents. The ebook will go live on Oct. 30 and will remain discounted through Nov. 3.

The paperback, which is already live, will be discounted at $9.99 through Nov. 3.

Meanwhile, you can also buy book 1 of the series at a discount on Oct. 30-Nov. 3. The ebook version of Do You Believe in Magic? will be free, while the paperback version will be discounted at $8.99.

The series is appropriate for readers 13 and older, but adults are enjoying it as much as young teens. Huge thanks to everyone who has read book 1 thus far!

DARK CIRCLES (teen fantasy adventure series)
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (preorder through Oct. 29; live Oct. 30)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (coming February 2024)

Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16