Journey with me through a magical world (Prologue | Book 3)
The first excerpt from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"
This past Friday, I sent you the opening paragraphs from the Epilogue of Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2). I also broke down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I included writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1).
Today, I’ll continue the process with the Prologue of Do You Believe in Miracles?, the climactic conclusion to the Dark Circles trilogy.
Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.
Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.
Below are the opening paragraphs of the Prologue of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.
Context: The Niddukk prepares to assault Shima-Shi, but the monster’s chained prisoner is more than he seems.
PROLOGUE
The Pale Man stuck with the plan.
Every time the Niddukk jerked the chain attached to his neck, the Pale Man suffered horrendous pain. But it wasn’t the shackle that hurt him. It was the powerful magic imbued in it.
The Niddukk believed the Pale Man was his captive. The reverse was closer to the truth. The monster would soon learn this firsthand and pay the price for his arrogance.
William, as some called the Pale Man, was ancient. Of all the humanlike beings he had ever encountered during his vast wanderings, only the Yellow One was older. The Niddukk was also older, but he wasn’t human. And when you measure decades by centuries, and centuries by millennia, what are a few years between friends and enemies?
The Niddukk was his longtime enemy. But was the Yellow One his longtime friend? William had always been uncomfortable around beings even more powerful than he. Something about it rankled. But the Pale Man and the Yellow One shared an indisputable goal: the elimination of the Niddukk, the foulest monster ever known.
The Yellow One was not always the nicest fellow either. He preferred to be the one in control, believing his way was always best. His “bloodline plan” had some merit, but it rarely took the feelings of others into account.
March in step! Follow orders!
William did not much like that. But did he have a better plan? To be honest, no. So he had gone along for the ride.
The Yellow One had orchestrated a long line of events all leading to the same outcome: a woman able to breed with a High Elder and bear a son. Mary was the woman. William was the High Elder. Charlie was the son.
The Pale Man agreed to this out of a mutual desire to destroy the Niddukk, not out of a desire to be a husband to Mary or a father to Charlie. But things changed. Mary turned out to be more enticing than expected, and he became attracted to her physically and emotionally.
And the boy. His son. Charlie. William grew to love him more than he loved himself.
And so, he betrayed his son to save him.
The Yellow One’s centuries-long machinations were approaching their grand conclusion. The bloodline was complete and the Setavanna-Kesakalyana was born. The Yellow One then passed his massive power to the boy. Charlie absorbed it like a sponge without even knowing he had done it.
William played his part in the Yellow One’s gambit, pretending to abandon Mary and Charlie. The pain it caused his wife and son battered his heart with an intensity he had never experienced before. Emotion was a weakness of those whose lives were brief, but even the long-lived were not always immune to its dreadful allure.
And that was just the start of the pain. After Mary and Charlie escaped to the safety of the Yellow One’s home, William’s next task was to sacrifice himself and permit the Niddukk to chain him. But the threads that bound the slave to the master also bound the master to the slave.
As the Niddukk—in all his bravado—stood at the foot of the great bulwark of Shima-Shi, his prisoner was not as helpless as he appeared.
The Niddukk was about to find out for himself.
End of excerpt.
Themes: Machinations; secrecy; surprise.
Between the lines: At one time or another, we have all told a secret to someone close to us. Writers do this same thing with their readers. We trust you enough to tell you our stories’ deepest secrets while keeping most of the other characters in the dark. Oftentimes, we even tell you things that our main characters don’t know. This is a powerful tool that enhances intimacy between authors and their audiences.
Writing tips: My friend Janisse Ray has a new book coming out in June and she’s launching it in a novel way, via Kickstarter.
I know Janisse through my wife Jeanne, who wrote a story about Janisse’s first book, Ecology of a Cracker Childhood, when it came out 25 years ago. That one is an environmental memoir about growing up on a Georgia junkyard in the middle of an iconic ecosystem—longleaf pine—that got obliterated. That book won a bunch of awards and was chosen as a common reader for dozens of colleges and universities. It was named a NYT Notable.
Since then Janisse has published 11 more books. Every one of them has been written to bring attention to some environmental or social injustice. She teaches writing courses, including creative nonfiction and nature writing, both in person and online.
This new book is on writing. It covers not only craft and technique but an equally vital part of writing, which is getting yourself into the realm of mystery and magic.
I think you’ll love this book. Initially it will only be available on Kickstarter. The product launches on June 4, 2024, and if you’re interested you can run over to Kickstarter now and indicate that you’d like to be “notified upon launch.”
Here’s the link to Craft & Current: A Manual for Magical Writing:
I love the fact that these two women I admire—my wife and our friend Janisse—both have books coming out in June. You can subscribe to my wife’s gripping memoir titled Good Eye, Bad Eye: A Memoir of Trauma and Truth, where it will be serialized on Substack starting the first week of June.
Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Epilogue
Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Epilogue
Promotional notes
Dark Circles is a teen fantasy adventure series appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series. All three books of the series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook. This heartfelt coming of age series has won multiple international awards.
DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)
All told, more than 18,500 copies of books 1-3 have been downloaded, with an additional 60,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Like all self-published authors, I’m still hoping for more ratings and reviews.
Any restacks of this one would be greatly appreciated.