Journey with me through a magical world (Epilogue | Book 2)

The 27th and final excerpt from "Do You Believe in Monsters?"

May 17, 2024

Every Friday, I have sent you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Monsters?. Then I’ve broken down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I’ve included writing tips.

DARK CIRCLES (teen fantasy adventure series)
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)

Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.

Here is a brief synopsis of book 2: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.

Below are the opening paragraphs of the Epilogue of book 2. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.

This concludes book 2. Next Friday, I’ll begin with the Prologue of book 3.

Context: The Niddukk comes to Shima-Shi to challenge Lord Charlie.

EPILOGUE
A blinding light appeared in the sky.
Though the morning was already clear and bright, the apparition dwarfed even the sun. A wave of intense illumination approached from the northwest, a searing blob of power.
A thousand black dots, some larger than others, speckled the sky. The closer they came, the more obvious it was that the dots were winged creatures—what remained of the vampires and other flying beasts.
In the center of it all, one being reigned supreme. It emitted a billow of heat as intense as a furnace.
Horns trumpeted. Warriors who had been sent out to scour the battlefield for potential survivors raced back within the wall. The gates slammed shut. And still the enemy advanced.
Azura spoke first. “He comes,” the Yati grand master said.
Everyone knew what Azura meant.
Charlie knew it better than anyone else.
The vampires arrived first, landing about a hundred yards from the wall and forming a curved line that extended half a mile. Next came the larger beasts, the ones that resembled pterodactyls. They settled behind the vampires. After that came Amanussa, who took her place in front of the vampires but slightly off-center.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you boys,” she said. She sounded nervous.
The largest of the flying creatures finally made its appearance. It was about the size of the dragon Charlie had seen on the beach during his first visit to Pacchann, only this one could fly, its wingspan easily sixty feet. In books or movies, they would have called it a great dragon. But the creature’s appearance was odd. There was something grotesquely human about the shape of its head.
Charlie only had time to study the creature briefly. Clinging to its neck was the true focus of this gathering. A man-like being adorned in metallic armor descended from the beast and strode forward. It dragged something small and pathetic with a chain.
Charlie recognized the Niddukk. He had seen him in his dreams. But he didn’t recognize the pale thing on the ground.
“It is so wonderful to meet you face to face, Lord Charlie,” the Niddukk said, ignoring everyone else who stood upon the wall. His voice was like a gust of wind superheated by a wildfire. Reflexively, thousands of warriors held up shields. Some even screeched.
Charlie didn’t respond, but it wasn’t out of defiance. A part of him wanted to run. But another part knew there was nowhere to hide. He might as well try to escape from a lion in an open plain. His only hope was to stand his ground and not show fear.
“State your purpose,” Garrick said. His words were bold, but his voice quivered.
“SILENCE!” The power of the Niddukk’s voice blew against them like the winds of a hurricane. More than a hundred were driven backward off the wall-walk and fell screaming to their deaths.
“I did not give you permission to speak. Only Lord Charlie may speak. What have you to say, boy? I have been told you came to Pacchann to challenge me. Well, here I am.”
End of excerpt.

Themes: Ultimate power; showdown; against the odds.

Between the lines: Today’s excerpt, which concludes book 2, is my 46th weekly segment since I began this breakdown of books 1 and 2 of my fantasy series. This means I have also done 46 versions of Between the Lines. Here are some highlights:

Is the existence—or nonexistence—of magic a black and white issue? Or is it more of a gray area? To a child, a floating balloon is magical. To an adult, it’s just an ordinary balloon filled with helium. But in the grand scheme of things, aren’t we all children at heart? If so, does some level of belief in magic exist within even the most skeptical among us?

Narrative writing has many similarities to music. The flow and tempo of a piece of music is what makes it feel alive and exciting. The same goes for your writing. Much like a song, writing has melodies (your voice speaking silently in your mind) and rhythm (sentences that are long, short, smooth, staccato). And both music and writing tell stories., evoke emotions, and bring tears to your eyes. This is probably a big reason why so many authors love to listen to music while they write.

In real life, when you choose a destination but accidentally end up somewhere unfamiliar, it can produce a lot of anxiety. In a novel, this doesn’t happen by accident. The author uses this technique to purposely foment anxiety in the reader.

If you define readers as ordinary people, it opens a lot of possibilities. By ordinary, I don’t mean less important/talented/insightful than authors. What I mean is that readers have the same set of emotions as the rest of us, which provides authors with a potent opportunity to manipulate their readers’ emotional reactions to danger, fear, sorrow, joy … and the list goes on. Horror writers such as Stephen King are masters of this. King is so great, he can come close to replicating the same terror you would feel if you really were alone in a dark room with a thirsty vampire. In my case, I am attempting to replicate the same terror you would feel if you stood on top of a bulwark and looked down at a bloodthirsty army bent on your destruction. It’s a grand power, but not one to be taken lightly or used nefariously.

Readers and writers form a relationship based on trust. The reader trusts the writer to deliver. The writer trusts the reader to plow through to the last page. But sometimes, writers can intentionally foment distrust. This technique, though sometimes risky, creates a lot of tension. Keep in mind that if you choose to break trust, do it briefly and earn it back as quickly as you can.

Writing tips: I’ve also done 46 versions of Writing Tips. Here are some highlights:

One of the more effective ways of incorporating a dream-like quality into your work is through the use of inner dialogue. This enables the author to reveal musings and emotions that the character might not be willing to show outwardly, including questioning his or her own sanity. Even better, it gives the reader permission to observe the character’s most private thoughts, almost as if you were a mind-reader. This intense level of intimacy creates a powerful bond.

Often, a character’s internal recap of an event can be as powerful as the event itself, especially in terms to getting inside the character’s head and unveiling hidden feelings. In my experience, most self-published books today are less focused on character development and far more focused on action-action-action. This appears to be what sells. But doesn’t the writer owe it to his or her audience to mix in character development with some degree of complexity?

I’m often asked: “How much do you plan in advance and how much of your writing is free-flowing?” I like to use the surfer analogy: “Professional surfers are in incredible physical shape. They have years of experience under a variety of conditions. And they have the best equipment money can buy. Every time they head out to sea, they bring all that with them. But when the next big wave comes, they still have to ride it, and each wave is different.”

I wrote the first word of book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?) in mid-February 2023. I wrote the 300,000th word of my trilogy when I completed the first draft of book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?) in mid-February 2024. About 180 days of that 365-day stretch were spent writing the first drafts of the three books. 300,000 ÷ 180 = 1666.6666666666667, which is how many words I averaged per day during my first drafts. Why am I telling you this? Who knows? 🤣 But seriously … If you want to complete multiple books in one year, you have to put in the work every day, even if it sometimes wears you out. The good news is first drafts are called first drafts for a reason. They are not final drafts. So if some of those 1666.6666666666667 words are crap, don’t fret over it! You can polish them during the revision process. The book is not finished until you say so.

Writing the first draft of a novel is the most difficult part for me. But it’s also the most rewarding. When I’m immersed in the first draft, my attitude about life changes and I feel like I’m doing something special. Fantasy is a liberating gift to readers and writers, providing an exhilarating escape to magical worlds. So, authors should take joy in this process! And make sure you incorporate that joy into the story so that your readers can experience it along with you.

Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)

Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)

Promotional notes

Dark Circles is a teen fantasy adventure series appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series. This heartfelt coming-of-age series has won multiple first-place awards in four international contests. All three books of the series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)

Jim Melvin

Thanks James!!! The Writing Tips would be a lot easier for me if I was posting the entire chapter versus an excerpt because most of the juicy stuff comes after the excerpt. But I'm doing my best.

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James Ron

"Why am I telling you this? Who knows? 🤣 But seriously …" : ) That's a lot of words - writing is a daunting task. Always like your writing tips. Jim.

Jim Melvin's Realms of Fantasy

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