Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 21 | Book 2)
The 22nd excerpt (including prologue) from "Do You Believe in Monsters?"
Every Friday, I’ll send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Monsters?. Then I’ll break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I’ll include writing tips.
DARK CIRCLES (teen fantasy adventure series)
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (coming April 21, 2024; preorder on April 14)
Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13—and many who are a lot older than 13—are enjoying it.
Here is a brief synopsis of book 2: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.
Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 21 of book 2. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.
Context: The great battle by the shore of Lake Shima-Shi is about to begin.
CHAPTER 21 | BATTLE BY THE SHORE
Dusk approached.
In the pavilion outside the walls of Shima-Shi, the mood was solemn. With Blue and Killer standing guard, Garrick and the others huddled beneath the animal-hide covering and debated what to do next.
“We have stationed thirty thousand warriors in the trenches that lead from the gates to the shore,” Garrick said. “Twenty thousand line the wall-walk, half a mile in each direction from the gates. The remaining ten thousand patrol the rest of Shima-Shi, both inside and out.”
“If the Niddukk desires to pit strength against strength, he will need to cross the lake,” Kate said. “That is where the crux of his plan lies.”
“If they mean to cross, we must meet them at the shoreline,” Charlie said. “We must stop most of his army from gaining a foothold.”
“Agreed. But the Niddukk controls the skies,” Garrick said. “If they attack from above, it will distract us from the monsters below.”
Azura nodded. “If the Yati band together, we can conjure a shield that will prevent the flying monsters from reaching our forces. We can’t protect all of Shima-Shi, but we should be able to cover enough area to allow your army to confront the monsters who cross the lake at ground level.”
This pleased Garrick. “Lingika, send warriors to alert everyone inside of Shima-Shi of this plan. And make certain that Janetu is prepared to close the gates, even if it means sacrificing any who remain outside. We can’t allow the Niddukk’s ground army inside the gates.”
Lingika bowed and raced off.
Charlie watched her go before turning to Garrick. “You have your gut feelings, and I have mine. I believe whatever is going to happen will happen as soon as it gets fully dark. For once, it won’t be the Niddukk who stops us from sleeping. It will be his army. It’s going to be a long night.”
“We’ll be fighting in the dark?” Zola said.
Azura shook his head. “It won’t be dark, Mistress Zola. At least, not in the way you mean. This night will be lit by fire.”
End of excerpt.
Themes: Dread; anticipation; facing fear.
Between the lines: One of the most powerful between-the-lines tools available to authors is the symbolic use of light and darkness. All of the great masters — from Shakespeare to Conrad to Faulkner — used this technique in heavy doses. It’s difficult to find a renowned work of literature that doesn’t.
In its simpler forms, light is associated with life, vitality, and goodness, while darkness symbolizes death, decay, and evil. But writers can dive deeper if they want to. Darkness also has light: the moon, stars, candles, explosions; and light also has darkness: blindness, confusion, ignorance, smoke.
Here’s how I recommend incorporating this visual tool into your narrative. Before you even start, write a brief essay to yourself about what roles light and darkness will play in your work.
Here’s a snippet of something I would write to myself:
In my fantasy series, light symbolizes the power and existence of magic. Much of this magic is a form of light and usually has its own particular color. Darkness symbolizes the end of magic and the end of life, but also the beginning of the next chapter in a person’s travels from realm to realm. Meanwhile, the interplay between light and darkness represents the inevitable passage of time — light, dark; day, night.
Once you’ve got a grip on what you want to say, the next step is to figure out how to say it subtly between the lines.
Writing tips: I have been a professional writer and editor for forty-five years and have won dozens of national and international awards. As a journalist at several major newspapers, I wrote thousands of articles ranging in length from a few paragraphs to 5,000-plus words. As a communications director at a major university, I wrote hundreds of media releases and magazine articles. As a novelist, I have published thirteen books. Finally, I estimate that over the course of my life I have read at least 2,000 books, many of which were novels in the genres of fantasy, science fiction, and horror.
I’m not saying this to brag. Many of you are far more accomplished. For instance, several of my novels have briefly reached bestseller status on Amazon, but none of them have made me rich or famous. As a journalist, I never came close to winning a Pulitzer. As a communications director, I did win some cool awards, but they brought me little fame or fortune.
All of the things I mentioned above have made me the writer I am today. Other authors out there have their own worldly experiences. Regardless of our various paths, I’ll bet we all have one thing in common: We’ve all read a LOT of books and are most likely in the middle of one right now.
The common denominator is … READ, READ, READ!
Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20
Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Epilogue
Promotional notes
Do You Believe in Magic? is a gold-medal winner in three prestigious 2024 competitions: the International Impact Book Awards for Fantasy, the Literary Titan Book Award for Fantasy, and the BookFest Award for Teen Action and Adventure, It is also a second-place winner in BookFest for Fantasy Series.
Do You Believe in Miracles? will go live on Sunday, April 21 with preorders starting this Sunday, April 14.
During the week of April 14, the ebook version of Do You Believe in Miracles? will be available via preorder for 99 cents only to my subscribers. I’ll remind you in a couple of days. 😀
During the week of April 21, the ebook versions of book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?) and book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?) will be on free promotion.
The ebook and paperback versions of books 1 and 2 can be purchased at this link.
All told, more than 8,460 copies of books 1 and 2 have been purchased, with an additional 44,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Like all self-published authors, I’m still hoping for more ratings and reviews.