Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 6 | Book 2)
The seventh excerpt from "Do You Believe in Monsters?"
Every Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Monsters?. Then I’ll break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I’ll include writing tips.
In mid-October, I finished book 1 titled Do You Believe in Magic? with an excerpt from its Epilogue. I have now restarted the process with book 2, starting with the Prologue. Last week, I featured Chapter 5.
DARK CIRCLES (teen fantasy adventure series)
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (coming February 2024)
Though both books are appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13—and many who are a lot older than 13—are enjoying my series.
Here is a brief synopsis from book 2: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.
Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 6 of book 2. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.
Context: Charlie and his friends encounter Gord at school during lunchtime. The bully acts friendly to them, but he harbors a dark secret that is revealed later in this chapter.
CHAPTER 6 | THE BLACK KNIFE
Gord appeared at lunch again on Wednesday.
Zola, Charlie, and Virgil had settled into their favorite seats beneath the lifeless neon light. It wasn’t the most popular place in the lunchroom. But it was almost always unoccupied, which avoided ugly encounters with tougher students.
This time, Zola sat between Virgil and Charlie. Her boyfriend’s aroma reminded her of freshly mown grass. Virgil, per usual, smelled like the inside of an old sneaker. But she was so used to the way Virgil smelled, it was comfortingly familiar.
“I’m still going,” Virgil said for the umpteenth time.
Blood rushed to Zola’s head. “Virgil, I’ve reached a point where I don’t care if you go or not. But if you say that one more time, I’m going to kick your shin so hard it’ll explode.”
“You and whose army?” Virgil said, another phrase he repeated far too often.
“Virgil!”
“Shhhh, we don’t want to attract too much attention,” Charlie said. “It’s already Wednesday! Sunday will be here before we know it.”
“I’m going,” Virgil repeated.
Arrgggh!
“Virgil, saying that over and over is annoying,” Charlie said.
“I don’t care who it annoys. I don’t even care if it annoys my parents.”
Who are we annoying?
The baritone voice came out of nowhere. Gord was as stealthy as Garrick.
“What do you want?” Zola said. “And where’s Parker and the others? I guess you’re going to beat up the three of us by yourself.”
Gord smiled, his teeth looking every bit as good as Tom Cruise’s in Top Gun: Maverick. “I guess I should take that as a compliment. But you Aikido chicks are tough. I doubt I could take you.” Gord laughed cheerfully.
“I’m not sure why you’re pretending to be nice to us,” Charlie said. “But we’re not buying it. You’re always up to something.”
“How would you know I’m always up to something? You’ve only been around me two or three times in your life. Maybe I’m only mean sometimes and nice the rest of the time.”
Zola snorted. “I’ve been around you a lot more than two or three times, and you’ve always been mean to Virgil and me.”
“Zola’s right, Gord,” Virgil said. “You’ve been mean to me since I was a little kid.”
Gord’s eyes lit up, and for a moment he looked like the old Gord. But he mastered his anger.
“People change. Even people like me.”
He walked away and left them alone.
“What the heck is going on?” Zola said. “What does he have to gain by acting this way?”
“Maybe he’s finally getting worried about Principal Martin,” Virgil said. “Even someone like Gord can get in trouble if he does enough bad stuff.”
Zola nodded. “Just when I think you’re the biggest doofus on Earth, you say something like that. I think you’re on to something.”
But Charlie wasn’t so sure. “I think it goes beyond that. I mean, think about it. One trip to the dentist—no matter how much money you have—doesn’t turn bad teeth into good teeth. Something is wrong. And it’s scaring me.”
Charlie’s words made Zola cringe.
“Do you think—?”
Charlie pressed a finger against Zola’s lips.
“Shhhh … don’t even say it.”
End of excerpt.
Themes: Dark secrets; manipulation; suspicion.
Between the lines: Here I go harping on the importance of point of view again, but one of the advantages of using a limited POV is that it can create a lot of tension when one character knows something and the other doesn’t. An extreme example would be your main character having a conversation with a serial killer about going out on his boat. The main character doesn’t know that he or she is making plans to spend an afternoon alone with a serial killer, but you as the reader do know and are silently screaming “don’t go!”
Writing tips: Is it possible to write fast and slow at the same time? It seems like an odd question, right? Maybe not.
I’m not sure where I rank in the speed category compared to other writers, but my aim is to average 2,000 words per day. Lately, though, I’ve been ending up in the 1,500 range. But I make up for it by writing virtually every day. (I did take Dec. 23-25 off, but even that made me feel guilty.) That equates to about 45,000 words a month.
For the sake of argument, let’s agree that I write pretty fast. Then how is it possible for me to also write pretty slow?
Here’s the answer. Speed does not have to equate with sketchiness. It also doesn’t have to equate with finishing a chapter or even a section within a chapter. An author can write in exquisite detail—maybe even too exquisite during the first draft—and still write fast. I’ve had days where I’ve surpassed 2,000 words and yet barely advanced the narrative.
Why is this important? Well, if you’re like me and tend to overwrite during the first draft, then most of the bells and whistles that the finished product will need are already there. Then it just becomes a matter of giving your shaggy head of hair a really nice haircut rather than trying to make short hair look better than it already does.
Make sense?
Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5
Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Epilogue
Promotional notes
The ebook and paperback versions of books 1 and 2 can be purchased at this link and are currently on promotion for 99 cents.
As of Dec. 28, I’ve written about 62,000 words of the first draft of book 3 titled Do You Believe in Miracles?. I took my first break from my daily routine and didn’t write Dec. 23-25, but I’m back in action now.
All told, more than 7,500 copies of books 1 and 2 have been purchased, with more than 30,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Like all self-published authors, I’m still hoping for more ratings and reviews.