Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 1 | Book 3)
The second excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"
Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).
Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.
Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.
Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 1 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.
Context: The Niddukk confronts Charlie on the fields beneath the bulwark of Shima-Shi.
CHAPTER 1 - BATTLE OF THE TITANS
“Do you recognize who this is, Lord Charlie?”
The Niddukk’s hideous laugh echoed off Shima-Shi’s fortifications like a thunderous wave crashing against a seaside escarpment. The monster’s magic slapped Charlie in the face, turning his head to the side.
“ANSWER ME!”
Charlie noticed cracks forming on the bulwark. Was the power of the Niddukk’s voice alone enough to shatter a wall that had repelled all other enemies for centuries beyond count?
Charlie felt a tug on his arm. At first, he ignored it. The Niddukk demanded his attention. But the tugging continued until he finally looked down to see what it was. One of Zola’s little hands had grasped his elbow. Tears streamed from her eyes.
“Charlie, what can we do?”
“What do you think we should do?”
“We could run,” she said hopefully. “We could hide in the tunnels beneath Shima-Shi. Maybe even cross the lake on the other side of the city and make our way back to the Pampas Fields where the Dvi could protect us.”
“Just as I thought!” came the booming voice from far below. “The great white wizard is a COWARD! Fight me? He does not even dare speak to me. What do you say to that, defenders of Shima-Shi?”
Charlie looked at Zola and smiled wanly. “There is nowhere to hide. You and I both know that. Even if we somehow escaped, he’d hunt us down. And when he found us, we’d be in a weaker position than we are now.”
Zola lowered her eyes. “At least you and I will die together. It would have been nice to have shared a lifetime with you, instead.”
Charlie cradled her chin and lifted her face. “It’s not hopeless. Poppy didn’t put me and us in this position only to fail.”
The Niddukk’s rants continued.
“You puny fool! I am the greatest being to ever EXIST! And you dare challenge me? Oh, I will make you pay. I will make all of you pay!”
“Charlie, what are you going to do?” This time it wasn’t Zola talking to him. It was his brave friend Garrick. Only now, even Garrick was shaking.
Charlie pondered this, but he already knew the answer.
“Here is how I see it. It’s your role to take care of Amanussa and her vampires. It’s my role to take care of the Niddukk. If we all play our roles, we might prevail.”
“How can you hope to defeat the Niddukk by yourself?” Azura said. The grand master was also trembling.
“I’m not certain I’ll be by myself.”
End of excerpt.
Themes: Good vs. evil; David vs. Goliath; power corrupts.
Between the lines: It’s never a good idea for authors to discuss politics because it can cost them more readers than it gains. But it wouldn’t take a genius to see that Dark Circles has its allegorical moments. My use of overblown verbosity (especially in bolded all caps) was done on purpose. 😀
Writing tips: As an author, it’s often easier to promise something than to deliver it. In the case of Dark Circles, I spent large portions of books 1 and 2 promising a riveting confrontation between nerd-turned-wizard Charlie and the hideous monster called the Niddukk. My promising part was really strong, IMO. So the question that weighed on my mind was, how do I deliver?
Here are a few of my thoughts as I wrote the climactic encounter:
I wanted the battle to be unique, or at least as unique as it’s possible to be. But I tried to make certain I didn’t write something so out there that it lacked the appropriate blend of external action and internal emotion.
Throughout books 1 and 2, Charlie struggled with what he perceived as his own cowardice. So I had to show that he had finally developed the courage to give it his all.
The battle between Charlie and the Niddukk had to be a game-changer. You’ll have to read Chapter 1 of Do You Believe in Miracles? in full to see if I pulled this off.
Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)
Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Epilogue
Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Epilogue
Promotional notes
Dark Circles is a teen fantasy adventure series appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series. All three books of the series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook. This heartfelt coming of age series has won multiple international awards.
DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)
All told, more than 21,000 copies of books 1-3 have been downloaded, with an additional 65,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Like all self-published authors, I’m still hoping for more ratings and reviews.
Ha! Indeed.
"I am the greatest being to ever EXIST!"
Freud would be interested in unpacking this guy's ego issues.