Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 2 | Book 3)

The third excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"

Jun 07, 2024

Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).

Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.

Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.

Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 2 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.

Context: The legendary bulwark of Shima-Shi succumbs to the Niddukk’s furious magic.

CHAPTER 2 - THE FATHER RETURNS
The bulwark’s shattered remains rained death.
If Zola had been standing behind the section that fell, it would have killed her. But she was far enough away to avoid being buried beneath the collapse of a wall that most had believed was indestructible.
Everyone was stunned into silence. Zola wasn’t sure what had happened, but she assumed it was the Niddukk’s doing, which probably meant Charlie was losing the fight. This roused her to action and she raced toward the shattered opening, intending to clamber over the smoking pile of rubble though some of the rock edges looked as sharp as razor blades. But there was no need. The gates of Shima-Shi suddenly opened a few hundred feet to the left of the destruction. The magic that held them shut had worn off. Garrick and many of the others were already running onto the battlefield. Blue and Killer charged past them all.
Zola was caught in a mass of people pouring through the gates. She was one of the smallest in the throng and for a moment feared she might lose her footing and be trampled, but powerful hands grasped her from behind and lifted her off the ground. She assumed it was Nobuo but then saw it was Virgil, who swung her over his head and sat her on his shoulders.
“I’ve got you, Zola!”
Riding on her best friend’s shoulders was a little weird, but she could sense his strength and felt safe. Virgil muscled through the opening and onto the battlefield.
The scene was chaotic. Charlie was still far away, and the warriors in front of her blocked most of her view. About all she could see were flashes of light and billows of smoke. Then Amanussa flew into view and descended to the ground. Was the vampire helping the Niddukk fight Charlie? It filled her with rage.
There was enough room now for Virgil to put her down. As soon as he did, Zola took off running and left her slower friend behind. Her only concern was getting to Charlie as fast as she could, but it could take ten minutes to reach him even running full speed.
As if this whole mess wasn’t bad enough, a glowing red barrier formed in front of them. Zola could see through it, though its translucence didn’t make it less powerful. She didn’t know if it was a trick of the light, but the magical wall seemed to change from red to orange like someone had added yellow coloring to the mix.
Zola closed within fifty feet of Garrick, who per usual was leading the pack—the human pack, at least. Blue and Killer were already past the magical barrier, though they had fallen onto their sides. Were they hurt? She couldn’t tell.
Zola finally saw Charlie. He was struggling with the Niddukk, and his staff glowed so brightly it hurt her eyes to look at it. Someone else was there too, though Zola couldn’t tell who it was.
Garrick ran into the barrier and bounced back like he had crashed into an actual wall. This caused her to slow down a bit. She, Garrick, and his army of warriors were blocked from reaching Charlie. Blue and Killer—the only ones on the other side of the barrier—had sat up but weren’t moving.
Then came an explosion of light that dwarfed any other.
End of excerpt.

Themes: Superior force; fight for survival; the bonds of friendship.

Between the lines: When a master poet writes a short poem, almost every word carries multiple meanings. The longer the poem, the more difficult it becomes to maintain this level of intricacy. The same goes for short stories, novellas, and novels.

When people study the literary aspects of celebrated novels, not all of them will reach the same conclusions. This is because novels are bursting with imagery, making it easy to form perceptions that the author might not have intended. The question becomes, how much did the author do on purpose? And how much is simply there as an inevitable result of elaborate writing?

The answer lies in the book’s major themes. The great masters will settle on themes and then stick to them. If one of the themes is entrapment, for example, there will be spider webs, traffic jams, and doors that are difficult to open. You can pretty much surmise that if the main character finds a spider web in the back corner of his closet, the author put it there on purpose. If the spider web frightens the MC who turns to run but has a hard time getting out of the closet because the door is jammed shut, you can pretty much surmise that the author made the door difficult to open on purpose.

But if the MC stubs his toe on one of the legs of his bedroom dresser during his frantic rush to escape the dreaded spider web, was that done on purpose? If writhing in pain and cussing like a maniac isn’t tied to one of the major themes, then maybe it wasn’t done on purpose but rather just to get a laugh.

Writing tips: If you build a wall out of bricks, a lot can happen during construction. Maybe you have trouble leveling the ground beneath the base. Maybe partway through the building process, a portion of the wall inexplicably collapses, forcing you to rebuild it. Maybe the top of the wall ends up looking cattywampus and you have to spend days figuring out ways to remedy it.

But here’s the key: When the wall is finished and you show it off to your friends, all they will see is the final product. They’ll have no concept of the obstacles you overcame to construct it.

Writing is like building a brick wall, so it’s wise to keep in mind that your readers will only judge you on the final product. Writers should judge themselves the same way.

Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)

Prologue | Chapter 1

Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)

Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)

Promotional notes

Dark Circles is a teen fantasy adventure series appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. All three books of my series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook. This heartfelt coming of age series has won multiple international awards.

Do You Believe in Magic? has been included in Amazon’s Prime Reading program from June 1, 2024 through Aug. 31, 2024. If you are a Prime member, you can read the book for free.

DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)

All told, more than 21,000 copies of books 1-3 have been downloaded, with an additional 71,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Like all self-published authors, I’m still hoping for more ratings and reviews.

Jim Melvin's Realms of Fantasy

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