Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 4 | Book 3)
The fifth excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"
Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).
Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.
Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.
Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 4 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.
Context: The Niddukk has been temporarily defeated and forced to flee, but hearts remain heavy at Shima-Shi.
CHAPTER 4 — THE INTERROGATION
Garrick entered the city with a heavy heart.
Though a lot of things had gone their way, he took little joy in it. Kate and Nobuo, the love of his life and his best friend, had turned against him. And when he took a longer look at the destruction of the bulwark, his depression deepened. Warriors were already clearing the rubble, but it was dangerous work. The broken slabs of black stone were heavy and had razor-sharp edges. Occasionally, warriors would cry out when they found yet another body buried beneath the smoking debris.
Janetu organized the clean-up, and when he saw Garrick, he rushed to him.
“How was this even possible?” Garrick said to the warden of the wall-walk.
“I would never have believed it, though given the power of the Niddukk, I suppose it could have been even worse. How we will repair this is beyond me. I doubt we will ever restore it to its former glory.”
“Until we slay the Niddukk and close his portals forever, we’ll be vulnerable. But for now, at least, there’s little risk of attack.” Then Garrick sighed. “How many lives did we lose, Janetu?”
“We have already recovered at least fifty bodies. And I fear more are yet to be found. The only good news is we have uncovered more than a dozen who were trapped but still alive.”
Garrick wasn’t sure what to do next. Everything had become so dismal. If he lost Kate, what was the use of staying in Pacchann? Maybe it was time to return to Lowery and live an ordinary life away from this madness. A part of him recognized he was pouting. All couples had fights occasionally. But was this more than just a passing thing? An ugly side of Kate had been revealed, and she probably felt the same about him.
A small hand rested on his shoulder. He turned hopefully, but it was Charlie, not Kate. Alongside Charlie stood his father and James. Zola and Virgil were also there. Charlie sensed Garrick’s disappointment.
“Besides the obvious, is something else wrong?” Charlie said.
“Everything’s wrong.” Then he looked at Charlie’s dad. “Excuse me, sir. I have a lot on my mind, but I thank you for what you did against the Niddukk.”
“I would prefer you call me William. And it is an honor to finally meet you, Lord Gar.”
“The honor is mine, sir … I mean, William.”
“Charlie’s dad is cool,” Virgil said. “I wish my parents were as cool as Charlie’s.”
“We all can relate to that,” Zola said. Then she spun toward Garrick. “What’s wrong? Is it Kate?”
“She’s angry that I didn’t order Amanussa to be slain. Like, really angry. She’s never acted this way to me. Nobuo is angry too. It feels like my family has turned against me.”
“An epic battle against a powerful monster has frayed all our nerves,” James said. “But sometimes it is wiser for calmer heads to prevail. Kati will come to realize this.”
“You think so, James?”
“Who cares? It’s almost time for lunch,” Virgil said. “And I never even got breakfast. Where can a hero get something to eat around here?”
End of excerpt.
Themes: Young love; distrust; failure; betrayal.
Between the lines: One of my favorite movie moments is a scene from Moonstruck when the grandfather, played by Feodor Chaliapin Jr., tries to lighten up a particularly tense scene by saying, “Somebody tell a joke.” Truth be told, audiences love this because it works. Even in the most serious and/or dark novels, there is usually at least one character who provides comic relief. Life can’t be all bad, and neither can stories, or they will devolve into unfathomable depression, which even readers who enjoy very dark novels won’t find entertaining.
Writing tips: I started book 1 of my series in February 2023. I published book 3 in April 2024. Which means that in fourteen months, I wrote the first draft of three books and revised each book at least ten times. Plus, I dealt with beta readers and editors. Plus, I worked with an international design company on my book covers. Plus, I designed the insides of the books myself. Plus I … plus I … plus I …. Well, it was a lot.
I promised myself—and my wife—that I would take off May and June of 2024. These two months would serve as a well-deserved break from 2,000 words a day. It’s now June 21. And other than fiddling around a bit with a spooky 1,000-word short story, I’ve honored that promise.
Now comes July, which is approaching like a tsunami with angry intentions. Will I have the discipline to jump back into the flow and begin work on my next novel? Or will July morph into August and then September with me slowly but surely getting nothing much done?
Most writers face this, in one form or another. My mettle is about to be tested.
Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Epilogue
Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Epilogue
Promotional notes
Dark Circles is a teen fantasy adventure series appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. All three books of my series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook. This heartfelt coming of age series has won multiple international awards.
Do You Believe in Magic? has been included in Amazon’s Prime Reading program from June 1, 2024 through Aug. 31, 2024. If you are a Prime member, you can read the book for free.
Do You Believe in Monsters? recently received a 5-star review from Literary Titan, an organization of professional editors, writers, and professors passionate about the written word.
DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)
All told, more than 23,000 copies of books 1-3 have been downloaded, with an additional 75,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Like all self-published authors, I’m still hoping for more ratings and reviews.
"The broken slabs of black stone were heavy and had razor-sharp edges. Occasionally, warriors would cry out when they found yet another body buried beneath the smoking debris."
“We have already recovered at least fifty bodies. And I fear more are yet to be found."
Sadly, this reminds me very much of what Israel has recently done to the people of the Gaza Strip.
The friends' easy, bantering camaraderie reminds me of your Florida recollections about neighborhood kids in vacant lots.