Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 15 | Book 3)
The 16th excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"
Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).
Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.
Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.
Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 15 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.
Context: As they approach the mountains, the 20 members of the company plan to use magic to create an enchanted dagger.
CHAPTER 15 — AMANUSSA’S STORY
The morning arrived cold and clear.
Zola was one of the first to wake up. It was now the eleventh day since they had arrived back in Pacchann. She estimated it was nearing noon Tuesday in Lowery. She felt like she had lived a lifetime in only half a day and wondered how Garrick had kept doing this for almost half a year.
The remains of the wagon lay charred and twisted. Their breakfast this morning would be cold. She hoped they would find more wood nearer the foothills.
Once the company was up and about, Marie called them together.
“I have some good news,” the baroness said. “Because the storm hindered our progress yesterday, Soldat and Stinger will not return to Nila until tomorrow morning. Soldat can load Stinger with as much of your baggage as the horse can carry.”
“I wish we could stay with you through the rest of your journey, but Stinger would not manage the mountains well,” Soldat said.
Tali approached the baroness and held up the necklace and bracelet. The necklace looked huge in the Dvi’s tiny hand. Tali could have worn it like a belt.
“I picked these up last night before we went to sleep and kept them with me,” Tali said. “What should we do with them? Are they still dangerous?”
The baroness took them from Tali. “Thank you. In all the commotion, I forgot about them. As to your question, they are no longer dangerous. Once Kati unlocked the bracelet from her wrist, it released all their power, so we need not fear them. However, the metal itself is precious. I will have Soldat take the necklace and bracelet back to Baron Konig. He will know what to do with them.”
“I have a better idea,” James said. “We all agreed last night that Amanussa has earned the right to be treated as a free and equal member of our company. Do you still feel this way, Mistress Kati?”
Kate smiled at Amanussa. “Most definitely.”
“Excellent!” James said. “Then this is what I propose. Though Amanussa possesses the strength to wield a staff, we do not have another one just lying around, which leaves her weaponless. But there are those among us with the power to mold this metal into a weapon.”
“What kind of weapon?” William said.
“I was thinking a dagger.”
“This is a great idea!” Kate said. “The metal once used to torture her can now protect her. What say you, baroness?”
“This is more than appropriate,” Marie said. “I will help to fashion this weapon in any way I can.”
“And I will make a proper sheath for it,” Tali said.
“How long will this take?” Garrick said.
James pondered this. “What would you guess, William?”
“If the dagger is simple without ornamentation, it should take just a short while, especially if all the magic-wielders combine their efforts.”
“Then I would prefer to do it tonight after we set up camp and have eaten,” Garrick said.
“Wise choice,” James said. “Full stomachs and darkness will assist us in this conjuration.”
“I like the full stomach part,” Virgil said.
Marie giggled. “It is fun to be around young people again. In Nila, it seems like everyone is old.”
They continued their march toward the Northern Mountains. Though it remained relatively cool, the farther they walked the more pleasant it felt. Zola was amazed how well Amanussa and Kate were keeping up considering what had occurred the night before. They were more sluggish than usual, but otherwise their recovery was remarkable.
Charlie walked beside Zola chatting comfortably. Blue was nearby. The landscape remained persistently bland, much like the plains between the Pampas Fields and the forest Pa Cha Ray. But the mountains had long since been visible in the distance like enormous shadows.
The road they followed was still muddy, so they trudged on the grass on each side. Amanussa and Kate walked together and carried on a pleasant conversation. This turn of events delighted Zola. The tension between Kate and Amanussa had made the company nervous. Now that they appeared to be friends, it lifted everyone’s mood. And more than that, it strengthened everyone’s resolve.
Garrick asked Ud if he would scout ahead. The birdman took to the skies and flew northward. They walked for another hour before Ud returned. He landed next to Garrick and gave his report.
“The foothills start a few leagues from here, and the base of the first mountains are several leagues beyond that,” Ud said. “I saw little activity of any kind along the road.”
“Many who lived here found refuge within the walls of Nila during the war,” Marie said. “What happened at Uxo-Ta was no secret, and all lived in fear of the Niddukk and his armies. Perhaps they have not yet dared return to their homes.”
“I can’t say I blame them,” Garrick said.
End of excerpt.
Themes: Redemption; forgiveness; second chances.
Between the lines: In a fantasy tale, when magic is used to turn raw metal into a weapon, it is assumed that the weapon itself will be magical and therefore more powerful than an ordinary one. For the most part, this is true. However, there is an additional factor: the wielder.
Some magical weapons are too potent for mortal hands. And some magical beings are powerful enough to turn an ordinary weapon into something extraordinary.
This begs the question: Which is more important? The weapon or the wielder? Or perhaps it’s some combination of the two?
For authors of fantasy, these distinctions play important roles in developing a magical system that contains at least some level of believability.
Writing tips: Why are quests so common in fantasy novels? The most obvious answer is readers love them. Quests are one of the surest ways of entertaining an audience. Famous examples include The Odyssey, Moby-Dick, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz, and The Lord of the Rings. Quests have been playing a substantial role in fiction since the dawn of English literature.
Why are they so effective? For one thing, they make readers feel like they have joined the quest and are walking right alongside the characters. Their time-tested structure heightens the suspense and drama.
Quests tend to feature a menagerie of important characters who have their own stories to tell. During the quest, these characters form deep bonds, risking life and limb for each other while facing hardships that would terrify and subdue lesser folks.
Finally, quests are based on a goal that at times seems impossible to achieve. But because of the growth that occurs during the quest, the characters develop the strength to overcome adversity and somehow succeed in the end.
Real life can be that way too.
Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14
Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Epilogue
Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Epilogue
Promotional notes
If you’re a reviewer on BookSirens, Do You Believe in Magic? can be accessed at THIS LINK or by clicking on the image above.
Dark Circles is appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. All three books of my series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook. This heartfelt coming of age series has won ten international awards.
Please check out my author interview on Literary Titan.
DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)
All told, more than 25,000 copies of books 1-3 have been downloaded, with an additional 97,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP).