Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 11 | Book 3)

The 12th excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"

Aug 09, 2024

Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).

Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.

Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.

Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 11 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.

Context: The company buries its dead and then continues its journey through the forest Evi-Vana. The Hakus join them.

CHAPTER 11 — GARRICK’S STORY
There was no rest for the weary.
Though Garrick avoided the Niddukk’s horrendous dreams, he still didn’t sleep well. Every time he was about to drift off, disturbing images of Nobuo’s broken body flashed in his mind and woke him. Several times he sat upright in a panic, his heart pounding. Charlie and Virgil were fast asleep, but William lay flat on his back with his eyes open. Garrick gestured to him to catch his attention, but William didn’t respond or even blink. It was spooky.
As so often happens on sleepless nights, Garrick fell deeply asleep only a few minutes before it was time to get up. Movement within the hut jarred him awake. William and Virgil were already gone. Charlie had grabbed his staff and was about to walk out.
“What time is it?” Garrick said groggily.
Charlie turned to him, his wavy hair a tangled mess.
“I don’t know. But it’s been light for a couple of hours. In Lowery time, it might be around 9. After all that happened yesterday, I guess we needed the rest.”
Garrick sat up and rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t sleep well.”
“Nightmares?”
“No. At least not the nightmares you mean. It was mostly that I couldn’t get the thought of Nobuo being dead out of my head. I still can’t believe it.”
Charlie sighed. “I’m so sorry. It’ll be a long time before you ever come to peace with that. And I can’t believe it either. None of us can. I know you and Nobuo were close, but we all admired him. How could we not?”
“Yes” was all Garrick could manage. Then he stood up. “I can hear everyone moving around outside. What are they up to?”
“After breakfast, the Hakus are going to take us back to the burial grounds to spread the ashes.”
“This means we’ll be getting a late start.”
“We’re not trying to set a speed record, remember?”
“Aren’t you worried about getting back to Lowery?”
“Zola, Virgil, and I will probably miss Tuesday and maybe even Wednesday at school, but that won’t be so bad as long as we don’t die.” Charlie paused. “Sorry, Garrick. I shouldn’t have said that. Not now.”
“It’s okay. I know what you mean.”
By the time they reached the burial grounds, the sky was clear and the air pleasantly warm. It was a gorgeous day. Garrick would have preferred it to be gloomy to match his mood.
End of excerpt.

Themes: Dangerous dreams; casting sorrow aside; unexpected allies.

Between the lines: Have you ever dreamed that you died? Some people find this very spooky, and maybe it is. However, dreaming that you died might be the closest you’ll ever come to getting a premonitory glimpse of what death actually is. For writers, toying around with this concept is an ultra-powerful tool.

Writing tips: When you first get to know a person, it can go in different directions. You might form an instant dislike that continues to worsen. Or you might immediately like the person in a way that continues to grow in a positive manner.

In the latter case, it’s likely you’ll be interested in learning more about that person. His or her history. Motivations. Hobbies. Habits. And the more you learn, the more your admiration for this person will grow.

The same goes for characters in books. The closer you become to the character, the more you’ll want to learn about him or her. And the more you learn, the more you’ll like the character.

When editors and writers talk about character development, this pretty much sums it up.

Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)

Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)

Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)

**Dark Circles** **is the winner of 10 international awards in six different contests. I’m so proud — and there are more to come!**

Promotional notes

My teen fantasy adventure series Dark Circles is the winner of Best Book Series in the 2024 LitStar Book Awards (watch very cool video). Meanwhile, Do You Believe in Magic? is one of six finalists in Fantasy in the Killer Nashville Silver Falchion Awards; the top winners in each category of Killer Nashville will be announced in a few weeks. Both contests received hundreds of entries.

Dark Circles is appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. All three books of my series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook. This heartfelt coming of age series has won ten international awards.

Do You Believe in Magic? has been included in Amazon’s Prime Reading program from June 1, 2024 through Aug. 31, 2024. If you are a Prime member, you can read the book for free.

DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)

All told, more than 23,000 copies of books 1-3 have been downloaded, with an additional 90,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP).

Jim Melvin's Realms of Fantasy

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