Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 6 | Book 3)

The seventh excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"

Jul 05, 2024

Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).

Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.

Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.

Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 6 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.

Context: After a terrible battle, the defenders of Shima-Shi earn a brief respite. But the demon-child Amanussa has paid a great price.

CHAPTER 6 — THE QUEST
Charlie?
There was a soft voice, but Charlie didn’t pay it much attention. He was too intent on Amanussa, who lay unconscious on the ground. Azura and James crouched over her.
Charlie?
He finally spun toward the voice. Zola stood next to him.
“Zola—”
“Are you okay?”
“I think so.”
“It’s only the middle of the afternoon, but it has already been a long day,” Zola said. “You need something to eat. And maybe even a little sleep. You’ve done more since this morning than most people do in a lifetime.”
“I think all of us need a break,” William said. “I have not eaten proper food in many days. I can barely stand up myself.”
“You’re speaking my language, Mr. Pale Dad!” Virgil said enthusiastically.
“Zola’s right. We should eat and then rest,” Garrick said. “This day isn’t over yet. We still need to gather this evening to decide our next move.”
Before Charlie and the others left the courtyard, they watched Azura and Sahoota carry Amanussa away. Charlie wondered where they were taking her.
Then Charlie returned to the bathhouse and entered a room with a round table big enough for six chairs. Malina and Tali joined Charlie, Zola, Virgil, and Garrick. Malina had to tilt his head to avoid banging it on the ceiling, but Tali could barely see over the tabletop.
Chefs entered the room with loaves of bread and bowls of soup loaded with vegetables, pink shrimp, and crabmeat. Virgil tore into the soup like he hadn’t eaten in a week.
By the time Charlie finished his bowl of soup, Virgil was three-fourths of the way through a third bowl and clearly hoping for a fourth. Though there was so much to say, none of them appeared to be interested in talking. It was Tali who finally broke the silence. A chef brought her some pillows to sit on, and she was now more in line with the others.
Tali addressed Charlie’s dad. “The Dvi know you as the Pale Man, and our awareness of you goes back many centuries. We have never heard that you also go by the name William. Is it true that you and the Yellow One have not always been the best of friends?”
His dad pondered the question. Then he looked up with eyes that glowed blue.
“When you live a long life, friends can become enemies. And enemies can become friends. The Yellow One and I have not always been friends. And Amanussa and I have not always been enemies. But there is one common denominator: The Niddukk is an enemy to all of us.”
End of excerpt.

Themes: Calm before the storm; friend or enemy; crime and punishment.

Between the lines: This is going to be longer than usual, so please bear with me.

Some people put enormous stock in the dreams they have during sleep, while others don’t give them much credence. I fall somewhere in the middle. I believe dreams arise from our subconscious, which is a cool and kind of eerie thought, but I’m not certain this guarantees they contain deep meaning or foretell future events.

However, I fully believe in the existence of recurring dreams. Over the past several years, I’ve had one recurring dream — or more accurately, one recurring theme in my dreams. I become lost and spend most of the dream trying to find my way back. Maybe I’m checking out of a hotel to go to the airport, but I need to return to my room to get my luggage. Only, I can’t find the room and somehow end up outside the hotel wandering the streets all the while worrying I’m going to miss my flight. Even though this type of dream is mundane on the surface, it’s still quite stressful. And to make matters worse, I have dreams like this almost every night.

The odd thing is, when I’m awake I don’t feel lost. So whatever is causing these dreams must be emerging from somewhere deep inside my mind.

What does all this have to do with my weekly “between the lines” segment? Well, in past episodes I’ve spoken a lot about literary devices that can enrich your writing such as symbolism, foreshadowing, allegory, parallel structuring, imagery, metaphor, simile, irony, etc. And I’ve frequently encouraged you to consciously insert these devices into your writing to enhance your narrative.

Now I’m finally getting to the point:

How many of these literary devices appear in your narrative even though you didn’t consciously put them there? Does your subconscious insert them for you like it does in your dreams? Perhaps your subconscious is the most consequential literary device of all.

Writing tips: How do novelists know when their book is finished? The answer is, they don’t. 😀 I’ve never written anything … ever … that I’ve read all the way through without making a single change. I find myself doing this 15-plus revisions into the process. I could probably tinker with a book for a lifetime and still find myself making last-minute edits on my death bed.

If you’re like me (you know you are), then what can we do about this conundrum? The way I manage to live with it is by reminding myself that though the book might not feel finished to me, it does feel finished to my readers. Why? Because they’re seeing it for the first time and have no idea how many hoops I’ve jumped through to get there. This doesn’t guarantee readers will like my book, of course, but I’m pretty confident they will view it as a finished product.

Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)

Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)

Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)

Promotional notes

My teen fantasy adventure series Dark Circles is one of seven finalists for Best Book Series in the 2024 LitStar Book Awards. The three top winners will be announced sometime this month. Fingers are crossed.

Dark Circles is appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. All three books of my series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook. This heartfelt coming of age series has won multiple international awards.

Do You Believe in Magic? has been included in Amazon’s Prime Reading program from June 1, 2024 through Aug. 31, 2024. If you are a Prime member, you can read the book for free.

Do You Believe in Monsters? recently received a 5-star review from Literary Titan, an organization of professional editors, writers, and professors passionate about the written word. Get to know me better by reading this interview.

DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)

All told, more than 23,000 copies of books 1-3 have been downloaded, with an additional 81,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Like all self-published authors, I’m still hoping for more ratings and reviews.

Jim Melvin's Realms of Fantasy

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