Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 7 | Book 3)

The eighth excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"

Jul 12, 2024

Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).

Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.

Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.

Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 7 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.

Context: The demon Amanussa has earned a reprieve, but in exchange for survival she must lead the defenders of Shima-Shi on a dangerous quest.

CHAPTER 7 — THE PORTAL
The silence was deafening.
For a long time, no one said a word. Azura and William went back to their seats. Servers entered the room and handed out cups of clear wine and plates containing small white cakes. Then they rushed away as if the mood in the room was too intense to bear.
It fell to Garrick to speak. He looked at Amanussa, who returned his gaze.
“If we set out to find and destroy the Niddukk and his portals, is it true you will help us? I mean, really help us?”
“I think I can answer you with a question of my own,” Amanussa said.
“Go on.”
“When I dropped the Niddukk over the lake, all of this would have been over. He would have sunk like a stone and perished. But the Gord creature saved him. Do you know why?”
“Because Gord is a creep!” Virgil blurted out.
“Maybe so,” Amanussa said. “I am sure he once was as you describe. But he is now something else—a creature who is being tortured almost beyond your comprehension. My belief is he concluded he had only two choices: End his pain by dying; or hope to end it by saving his master. It appears he chose the latter.”
“How does that answer my question?” Garrick said.
“I am in a similar situation. I can die and enter the next realm. Or I can assist your cause and hope that I will receive a reward if you … we … succeed.”
“What is the reward you desire?” Kate asked.
“Return my powers to me. If you do, I pledge to leave Pacchann and never come back.”
Nobuo stood in a furious rush. “She lies! Once she regains her magic, she will become our enemy again.”
Warriors stepped forward and slammed Nobuo back into his seat. To Garrick’s surprise, he didn’t resist them. All his animosity was directed toward Amanussa. He had no desire to harm his own people.
“Nobuo, can’t you see?” Garrick said. “The Yellow One said so himself. Without her, we can’t do this. And even if you’re right and Amanussa turns on us, who would you rather face: Amanussa or the Niddukk and his armies?”
“I want to kill her! And the Niddukk!”
“And if you can’t do both?”
Warring emotions twisted Nobuo’s expression. “Lord Gar, if you put me in charge of guarding Amanussa during this quest, I will restrain myself.”
There were cries and murmurs. But only one person spoke.
“I agree to these conditions,” Amanussa said. “If Nobuo kills me, my suffering will be over. If he keeps me alive and our quest succeeds, you will return my powers and I will depart to other worlds.”
End of excerpt.

Themes: A deal with a demon; redemption; risk.

Between the lines: In some ways, readers are like detectives embroiled in a complex case. They search for clues, receive inside tips, and know things about the suspects that the suspects don’t know about themselves. For instance, the main character in a murder mystery might have no idea her best friend is planning on killing her, but readers know because authors give them access to both characters’ points of view. Then again, authors always keep the most enticing clues in reserve, creating a Sherlock Holmes-like tension that incentivizes readers to keep turning the page.

Writing tips: You can make the argument there are two kinds of evil beings: those who are internally evil at birth; and those who start out good but are turned evil by external forces. Redemption might not be possible for beings who are born evil, but what about the latter? I would guess it depends on the circumstances. But one thing is certain: The redemption of an evil character is a staple of fiction that never ceases to enthrall the audience.

Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)

Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)

Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)

Promotional notes

My teen fantasy adventure series Dark Circles is one of seven finalists for Best Book Series in the 2024 LitStar Book Awards. The three top winners will be announced sometime this month. Fingers are crossed.

Dark Circles is appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. All three books of my series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook. This heartfelt coming of age series has won eight international awards.

Do You Believe in Magic? has been included in Amazon’s Prime Reading program from June 1, 2024 through Aug. 31, 2024. If you are a Prime member, you can read the book for free.

Do You Believe in Monsters? recently received a 5-star review from Literary Titan, an organization of professional editors, writers, and professors passionate about the written word. Get to know me better by reading this interview.

DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)

All told, more than 23,000 copies of books 1-3 have been downloaded, with an additional 84,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP). Like all self-published authors, I’m still hoping for more ratings and reviews.

Jim Melvin's Realms of Fantasy

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