Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 12 | Book 3)

The 13th excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"

Aug 16, 2024

Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).

Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.

Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.

Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 12 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.

Context: Charlie and crew march toward the coastal city Nila, where they will receive much-needed aid from an untrustworthy ally.

CHAPTER 12 — BARON AND BARONESS
The following morning was a little cooler.
Zola loved it. Even better, they had promised her that once settled in Nila, they could take hot baths and enjoy delicious food. When Virgil heard this, he got so excited he almost did a backflip.
They began the next day’s march. Those who had never been to Nila walked near Lingika to hear more about the coastal city.
“Perhaps 50,000 still reside in Nila,” Lingika said. “And as far as we know, it was untouched by the war. There is a large market right on the ocean that was thriving the last time I was there. Who knows what condition it is in now, but I would guess it is still doing well. Nila has some of the tastiest seafood you will ever eat. We will not go hungry.”
“Are we going to stay at an inn?” Zola said.
Lingika laughed. “A few of us will, but our most esteemed guests will be housed in the mansion of Baron Konig, the richest and most powerful man in Nila. His accommodations will be more luxurious than anything you have experienced in Pacchann, far more so even than Shima-Shi. Many people in Nila are poor, but some are rich and an even smaller number are extremely rich. Baron Konig is one of the extremely rich.”
“You won’t be staying at the mansion?” Zola said. “That’s not fair.”
This made Lingika laugh ever harder. “Believe me, it is no hardship. Masao and I will hoist many an ale in Nobuo’s honor. He was at home in the taverns of Nila.”
“Who will stay with Baron Konig?” Virgil asked a bit warily.
“Hmmm, let me see. All the lords and mistresses—you, Charlie, Zola, Gar, and Kati. And all the monks—Azura, Sahoota, Metei, and Hunying. I am not sure what will be done with Amanussa.”
“Where will the others stay?” Charlie said. “And what about Blue and Killer?”
“Masao, James, Malina, Tali, Ud, and I will stay at an inn,” Lingika said. “The baron has excellent kennels that are large enough for the dogs.”
“And what about my dad?”
“That will be up to him.”
“I understand you and Masao don’t want to stay there,” Charlie said. “But what about James, Malina, Tali, and Ud?”
“To be honest, James’ presence would offend the baron. He tolerates the monks because he respects their magic, but mostly he permits only light-skinned people such as himself to enter his domain. Those with darker skins like James, Masao, and I are not welcome. And those who are not human like Malina, Tali, Ud, and the Hakus are definitely not welcome.”
“Then I’m not staying there,” Zola said. “I don’t want to be around anyone who treats other people that way. Besides, my skin is darker than Charlie’s and Virgil’s. He probably won’t let me in either.”
“Your skin is darker in a different way, at least how Konig perceives such things. You will be welcome, mistress.”
“I still don’t want to go.”
“Baron Konig is boorish and bigoted, but he’s also powerful and well-connected,” Garrick said. “There’s much to be learned from him that could be helpful before we journey into the mountains. We must abide him while we’re in Nila, but we’ll need to stay alert. I’ve been told he can be friendly but also devious.”
Charlie’s dad appeared out of nowhere. “Having dealt with the likes of him before, I have chosen to join you at the baron’s mansion.”
“I was hoping you’d be there,” Garrick said.
“I don’t like this. I thought staying in Nila would be fun. Or at least restful,” Zola said. “Now it sounds like it’s going to be just another nightmare.”
“For us, it will be fun, though probably not restful,” Lingika said, chuckling. “Do not be concerned on our behalf. The ones who do not have to stay at the baron’s mansion are the lucky ones.”
“It doesn’t sound like a nightmare to me,” Virgil said. “Great food. Hot baths. Soft beds. I’m in!”
“Virgil, do you ever think of anything but food and your own comfort?” Zola said. “Don’t you care about other people?”
“These are tough times, little lady. We all need to fend for ourselves.”
End of excerpt.

Themes: Anticipation; mixed emotions; bigotry.

Between the lines: When a character or characters are actively involved in a scene, readers have a pretty good idea about what is happening to them. But what about characters who aren’t in the scene? Do they just vanish into nonexistence until the author brings them back to life?

From a literary standpoint, the answer is no. The characters are still very much in play, and what is happening “behind their backs” can have a large effect on them.

Writers should give this a good deal of consideration, not just when writing a scene but when planning it in advance. This is a potential goldmine of opportunity.

Writing tips: When your characters are conflicted, it can be a teaching moment not just for the reader but for the writer as well. Racism, bigotry, and prejudice can mean different things to different people. What they mean to the writer has the potential to tantalize or alienate a reader.

Since writers aren’t in the business of alienating readers, they should consider these three options:

Avoid these inflammatory topics altogether.
Include them in their stories but water down their own beliefs in an attempt to please everyone.
Write it as they see it, regardless of the outcome.

For me, numbers 1 and 3 are in play, but number 2 doesn’t cut it.

Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)

Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)

Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)

The ebook version of Do You Believe in Magic? will be free Aug. 19-23.

Promotional notes

My teen fantasy adventure series Dark Circles is the winner of Best Book Series in the 2024 LitStar Book Awards (watch very cool video). Meanwhile, Do You Believe in Magic? is one of six finalists in Fantasy in the Killer Nashville Silver Falchion Awards; the top winners in each category of Killer Nashville will be announced in a few weeks. Both contests received hundreds of entries.

Dark Circles is appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. All three books of my series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook. This heartfelt coming of age series has won ten international awards.

Do You Believe in Magic? has been included in Amazon’s Prime Reading program from June 1, 2024 through Aug. 31, 2024. If you are a Prime member, you can read the book for free.

DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)

All told, more than 23,000 copies of books 1-3 have been downloaded, with an additional 92,000 pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP).

Jim Melvin's Realms of Fantasy

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