Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 17 | Book 3)

The 18th excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"

Sep 20, 2024

Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).

Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.

Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.

Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 17 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.

Context: The bully Gord finds himself in charge of healing the most evil being to ever live.

CHAPTER 17 — HEALING THE NIDDUKK
Gord was alone with the Niddukk in the chamber.
Grizzle had left to get the boiled meat and bring back the female named Ying. Even the Kajjala thumped away.
The Niddukk lay on bare stone facing the wall. He still wore his heavy armor, but his helm had been cast aside, revealing his hideous face.
Gord approached warily on wobbly legs. He was weak with hunger. Almost delirious. Would he pass out and fall on top of the Niddukk? The thought made him nauseous.
Gord worked up the courage to kneel on the hard floor and examine the Niddukk’s neck. What he saw caused him to gasp. The bloody flesh was torn so badly Gord could see portions of gray bone.
Without warning, the Niddukk raised a thick arm, pointed toward the ceiling, and groaned. It startled Gord so much, his heart almost stopped. But then the Niddukk lowered his arm and lay still again.
“My liege, I don’t know if you can hear me or even remember me,” Gord said softly. “I am your loyal servant, Gord the Great, and I rescued you at Shima-Shi. I wish I had the power to wave my hand and heal you. But I’m going to have to help you the old-fashioned way. You need to eat and drink something if you can. And you need salve for your wounds.”
Can the master hear you?
Gord yelped and spun around. A smaller version of Grizzle, though maybe a little more feminine, stood just inside the room.
“You called for me, Gord the Great? I am Ying, and I can speak your language better than most of my kind.”
“Just Gord will do. And to answer your question, I doubt he can hear me. His injuries are terrible. Do you have any medicines? Any ointments? Anything that can help him heal?”
“Before we brought you to this chamber, the Kajjala attempted to repair the damage,” Ying said. “But the Niddukk howled so loudly it frightened even the pale beast.”
“Then we’ll need medicine. Ghouls fought in the war. Surely you have something.”
“We make a salve from the horns of goats and the talons of eagles, which we grind into powder and blend with bear fat. It helps our warriors recover from injuries, but who knows what effect it might have on the master’s wounds.”
“Bring some to me quick as you can. And I’ll also need clean cloths to bind his injuries. But before you go, answer me this: How many others of your kind are still here? And are they trustworthy?”
“Most who weren’t part of the army fled as soon as the Niddukk left for Shima-Shi,” Ying said. “I imagine they have run far away and are hiding. Only a few hundred of us are still here, but those who remained are loyal, I suppose. Are you worried about your safety?”
“I’m worried about everything. But I’ve chosen sides and will do my best to nurse the Niddukk back to health. I’ll need your help. And the help of everyone else who remains here. Besides the Kajjala, are there any other creatures with magical powers? What about a Kuutar? Or a sorcerer? Or something?”
End of excerpt.

Themes: Selling your soul; trading integrity for power.

Between the lines: One of the most difficult and yet exhilarating challenges a writer can face is how to unveil the outmost fringes of a secret without revealing the secret itself. This goes beyond foreshadowing into something even subtler. Imagine a scene in which a roomful of military personnel are having a top-secret planning session. There’s a mole in the room, but none of the good guys are aware of it, and the readers are also in the dark. Only, one character is acting a tiny bit nervous: a twitching eyelid, a bouncing foot, a trembling finger.

Sherlock Holmes, anyone?

Writing tips: What happens when an evil character is thrust into a mundane situation? An example might be a serial killer helping an old lady across the street. In these instances, your abhorrence for the bad guy will lessen a bit, at least temporarily.

When this occurs in narrative fiction, the bad guy acquires a perplexing level of depth that can cause readers to second-guess their distaste. This discordant complexity adds richness to the story, ripping the fabric of preconceived notions and opening an array of conflicting emotions.

From a novelist’s perspective, this is all good! Bad press is better than no press at all.

Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)

Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)

Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)

You'll find some great Heroic Fantasy ARCs here, including *Do You Believe in Magic?*.

Promotional notes

Dark Circles is appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. All three books of my series are now available in four formats: ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook. This heartfelt coming of age series has won eleven international awards.

Please check out my author interview on Literary Titan.

DARK CIRCLES
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic? (debuted May 25, 2023)
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters? (debuted Oct. 30, 2023)
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles? (debuted April 21, 2024)

All told, more than 25,200 copies of books 1-3 have been downloaded, with an additional 105,000+ pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP).

Jim Melvin's Realms of Fantasy

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