Journey with me through a magical world (Chapter 20 | Book 3)
The 21st excerpt (including Prologue) from "Do You Believe in Miracles?"
Each Friday, I will send you the opening paragraphs from a chapter of Do You Believe in Miracles? (book 3). I will also break down the excerpt with comments about context, themes, and conflict. Finally, I will include writing tips. Previously, I did the same for Do You Believe in Magic? (book 1) and Do You Believe in Monsters? (book 2).
Though my series is appropriate for ages 13 and older, I’m finding that readers younger than 13 — and many who are a lot older than 13 — are enjoying it.
Here is a brief synopsis of the series: When Charlie Magus enters a fantastical world hidden deep in the forest, his life is turned upside down. The timid 13-year-old transforms into a powerful wizard wielding formidable powers.
Below are the opening paragraphs of Chapter 20 of book 3. My author’s breakdown follows this short segment.
Context: Charlie and his friends prepare to meet the vaunted immortal called the Yellow One.
CHAPTER 20 — POPPY’S STORY
“There is a way we can do both.”
“What do you mean?” Garrick said to Chmura.
“I can take the four of you to the Yellow One while the rest of your company starts its journey toward Kar Pathu, with Krolowa as guide alongside Amanussa. Then I can lead you down the other side of the mountain to meet up with the rest of your company. That way, you will not lose much time at all.”
“Poppy has his own mountain?” Virgil said.
“Yes, he does. Well, he has his own place on top a mountain. You will better understand when you get there.”
“How about it, Garrick?” Charlie said. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
Garrick knew the debate was already over. “When do we start?”
“Our servants have already loaded your packs with food, water, and blankets,” Chmura said. “And the clothing we have made for you will last through the rest of your journey. We can leave right now if you like. Or after you have enjoyed a midday meal.”
“I want to see Poppy, but we can’t skip lunch!” Virgil whined.
Garrick slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. “It’s not like I have anything to say about it. We’ll probably spend the rest of the day here digesting.”
To Garrick’s relief, they left immediately after lunch. He, Charlie, Zola, and Virgil said goodbye to everyone. It was hardest to say goodbye to Azura and Marie, whom they might never see again. There were more than a few tears.
“At least you will see me one last time when you rejoin the company,” Krolowa said. “And of course, you will also see the Felkratur, who will be your new companions. Before you leave, let me introduce you to them. On your left is Stein and on your right is Granit.”
The stone creatures bowed. The crunching and grinding sounded painful, but the Felkratur didn’t seem to mind. Then it stunned Garrick to hear them speak. Their voices were raspy, but he could easily understand them.
“We will not fail you,” Stein said.
“We are not afraid,” Granit added.
Garrick bowed. “I believe you. I hope I can say the same.”
End of excerpt.
Themes: Trepidation, intimidation, expectation.
Between the lines: What would it be like to speak to a god? Or at least something so powerful compared to us that it might as well be a god? Perhaps it would depend on the god’s behavior and attitude. A friendly smile would be preferable to bolts of lightning unleashed in your direction.
Would you be able to sense the power? Would the god’s eyes and skin glow? Would your knees tremble? Your lips quiver? Would you feel like you’re going to faint?
These questions are often answered in epic fantasy tales, at least according to the author’s imagination.
Writing tips: Anatomically, humans have long since developed the ability to speak. Certain birds can mimic human speech, but it pretty much stops there. Some readers of fantasy get stuck on this and think it’s ridiculous that, say, dragons or any number of other creatures can speak. And it probably is silly from a scientific standpoint.
As a reader and writer of fantasy fiction, I could not care less. I equate speech with intelligence, not with anatomy. All I care about is what they say, not how they manage to say it.
I think I’m in the majority on this. Any naysayers out there?
Past episodes of Book 3 (Do You Believe in Miracles?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19
Past episodes of Book 2 (Do You Believe in Monsters?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Epilogue
Past episodes of Book 1 (Do You Believe in Magic?)
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Epilogue
Promotional notes
Do You Believe in Magic?, book 1 of my teen fantasy adventure series Dark Circles, has received a Recommended Review from Kirkus Reviews, an industry-trusted source for honest and accessible reviews since 1933. Only the top 25% of Indie books receive recommended reviews. Read the full review here.
Dark Circles is appropriate for ages 13 and older, but readers as young as 10 and as old as 80 have told me they loved it — sort of like the Harry Potter series or C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. This heartfelt coming of age saga has won eleven international awards.
DARK CIRCLES (13 and older)
Book 1: Do You Believe in Magic?
Book 2: Do You Believe in Monsters?
Book 3: Do You Believe in Miracles?
All told, almost 27,000 copies of books 1-3 of Dark Circles have been purchased, with an additional 108,000+ pages read on Kindle Edition Normalized Pages (KENP).